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Militant vegan: "Our society takes part in the systematic murder and oppression of millions of animals. The only way to change this by fighting back violently."
Normal person: "That would involve harming people who did not wrong, which is ethically unacceptable as a political stance."
MV: "Those people absolutely did wrong. By participating in evil deeds, you make yourself evil. Anyone who is openly or tacitly involved in oppression must be considered fair game."
NP: "That's ridiculous. You can't condone murdering people as part of a political platform."
MV: "But you can condone murdering animals as part of day to day life? That's just as bad."
NP: "Animals are not human beings."
MV: "150 years ago, you might have said the same about blacks. The Nazis said the same about Jews. Etc. You're engaging in moral relativism."
NP: "So are you, if you think it's acceptable to commit murder."
MV: "Actually I'm being more consistent than you."
NP: "I still can't condone what you're saying."
MV: "Which makes you not so different from a slave owner or a Nazi."
This is an exaggeration, but not much of one; I've been party to similar conversations, and the problem is basically what you see there: violently extreme positions are often no less consistent than "normal" ones, sometimes more consistent from what I've seen. People arguing such positions don't come off as fanatics, rather they use seemingly ironclad logic to cut the ethical ground out from under your feet.
What's the best way to argue effectively against such people?