I'm making mistakes and having a hard time with it

[pumpkinpi]

So it's been a rough run at times lately. I'm making mistakes, or forgetting things, or bad judgement, and having a hard time with it.

Some examples:
I have to register my kids for care at their schools for the days they do not have school in session. Earlier this year I missed one day so when MrPi got them to their school, they weren't registered. It was no big deal, because there was room for them and we just had to pay $5 extra each.
Today I had a similar issue. It's a non school day and this time I didn't forget to register them. However, I got it in my mind that it was just an early release day so the bus would come get them in the morning. When it wasn't coming, I checked online and it was a whole non school day, which I knew at the time I had registered them. So MrPi had to take them in. Not a big deal really; until yesterday he though he had to anyway and he isn't working today so it was no hassle. But then he got to the school and no one was there. He called me to check--sometimes they have it at a different school in the district. So yes, that was the problem, which I again knew at the time that I registered them. Again, no big deal, MrPi just had to drive a couple more miles to the other school.
(for context, I've been doing this for two years and these are the first two times I've made a mistake.)
So what's the problem? First, I just get so irked when I forget things like this. And it's not just this. More examples below. But second, MrPi said "why don't I just take care of it now?" That's what really bugged me. Not only am I forgetting things, he has no faith in me. Instead of saying he'll help out, he just wants to take the whole thing away from me.

What else?

Forgetful things happen once or twice a week, like this: I hung Rooster's winter jacket up on the rack, but less than 5 minutes later couldn’t find it and thought I had left it in the car. I actually went out to check.
Yesterday I forgot I had already brought some tools to a room just a few minutes earlier, and made someone else go back and look for them. It's stupid little things like that but when they keep happening I feel like something is wrong.
I kept thinking Rooster's gymnastics was at 7:15 even though it was on my calendar for 7, which I had checked multiple times during the day.
I was for notebook. I had it open in front of me and had already been using it.


What kind of mistakes?
Yesterday I made a mistake putting together a piece of equipment and it led to a near-disaster for someone else today. Ok, not disaster, but a potential cancelling of a program. I can't think of anything else right now, but I know I do stupid things like this often.

What kind of bad judgements?
We are making a lot of big decisions right now for our new museum opening next summer. For example, choosing school shows and setting up a schedule. We are doing this without a lot of data. We have to assume what proportion each grades are going to come and make sure we have the right number of shows for them. My report and I have put a lot of time into this already. She did most of the initial work drafting the schedule and choosing shows, but then we've spent a lot of time together reviewing it. Today I was doing a final review and felt that we were maybe not offering enough for one key grade level. So I did some analysis and went to her to talk about it.

After some discussion she seemed like she was getting frustrated with my judgement and said, "Why don't you just propose your own schedule and we'll look at it." I told her we don't have to do that, it's just one small part of the schedule. So we talked a little more, and I did a little more analysis, and really it could go either way. We can't really say what is the perfect decision without any data behind it. It comes down to her way or my way.

She has good analysis reasoning behind what she chose, but I also think she has a hard time with my authority, or anyone's authority, when they have a different opinion on something she feels strongly about. It's like she has a hard time thinking she could be wrong. If I decided my way I don't think she'd be happy with it. So I feel like either I'm going to let her get her way and not show my authority, or make a bad decision just to spite her. The middle ground is that mine could be the right decision--but we'll have to wait a year to find out.

Ugh, this turning into a novel. But it's some things I really need to get out and it's been helpful to write it up. It's a combination of things I know I'm doing wrong and people not having my back, so it makes me feel even worse. And in the end it comes down to not having the confidence in myself, which I think is most important. How do I deal with that?

[Thumper]

Just thinking about the forgetfulness issues. Would it be advisable to get a decent medical check up and include a discussion of medicines and their interactions. Maybe you got something going on there that's not helping you.

[pumpkinpi]

Yeah, I've thougth about that but keep forgetting to do aything about it.

I have a check in with a neurologist once a year for epilepsy, and I'm due soon so this would be a good time to bring it up. I had memory issues a long time ago related to one of my medications, but I've been on a new one for over a decade with seemingly no side effects. Something may have popped up, though!

Thanks. I do feel better just having written that out.

[SciFiFisher]

Yes, a thorough physical and medication review would be a good place to start. You may also want to consider where you are at from a stress point of view. If you are experiencing a lot of stress and/or having difficulty with managing your stress it can affect your memory and your confidence in yourself.

FWIW you husband may be offering to take over the scheduling for the kids because he sincerely wants to help out. Not because he has lost confidence in you.

As for the decision that could go either way. That's a tough call. At the end of the day it's your call though. One thing you could do is create a matrix that compares the two options. Your decision would be based on the outcomes most desired rather than what the person you supervise wants or what you want.

For example if Choice #1 is more likely to result in more students being covered you go with Choice #1. If you can't really know for sure how many kids you might reach then the decision criteria needs to be something else. Would Choice #2 use more resources? Would Choice #1 let you present to more schools vs more children. etc.

Other things that may be affecting the memory include sleep, nutrition, exercise, and emotions. If you don't already consider taking multivitamins with a good level of vitamins C, B, and D.

[Loresinger]

what he said! I find that my memory goes to shit when my anxiety or depression amps up (also stress). Sleep is a HUGE factor. For a while I thought I was going to be like my mom and have early onset altheimers (sp?), but thankfully the counselors explained that when the brain is overwhelmed it simply drops a file. The file is still there but behind other important stuff like breathing LOL

[SciFi Chick]

I really think your husband [¡]is[/i] trying to help out not losing faith in you. We all know how mwn, as a general rule operate. Yes. It's different than women but it's not automatically wrong just different.

I'm pretty certain it would make his day if you let him take over this one small task and thanked him for it.

I bet if you asked why he wants to take over instead of just help, his response would be, "I thought that was helping."

I'm going out on a limb here. If I'm wrong, ignore it. But is it possible your frustration with your underling is bleeding into your home life? She's the one that seems to have no faith in you unless you agree with her.

[SciFi Chick]

As for putting something down and forgetting where it is five minutes later, I don't have any meds to be checked. *sigh*

[geonuc]

And in the end it comes down to not having the confidence in myself, which I think is most important. How do I deal with that?

I'm not sure how you deal with that but perhaps it helps to remember you were never perfect and never will be. Mistakes are part of the human condition. Making more mistakes than normal is concerning (if true) but unless there's an underlying physical reason, it may just be a run of bad luck, so to speak. You also may have a confirmation bias thing happening - you've always made mistakes of this sort (maybe not exactly these mistakes) but now that you've noticed one or two, you see them cropping up frequently.

I don't know. If it helps, know that you're one of the people I hold in greatest regard in terms of intellectual ability and just plain having your shit together.