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Pregnant and Miserable

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Pregnant and Miserable

Postby SciFiFisher » Fri Sep 23, 2016 6:11 pm

Some years ago my first wife was pregnant with our first child. It was July and about 110 degrees Fahrenheit in the shade. We were living in a crappy little "modern" apartment that had a window AC unit in the living room. Right in front of the AC was the only place that was comfortable.

I walked into our bedroom and my wife is lying on the bed looking 10 months pregnant (she was due in October). The following conversation ensued. Keep in mind I had already tried all the usual assurances. i.e. you are not fat; You are pregnant and beautiful. etc. etc.

Wife: I feel like a beached whale
Me: Honey, there is no way you are a beached whale.
[Turning to leave] Me: {under my breath} There is no beach.

Wife leaps from bed and proceeds to chase me through the very tiny apartment trying to smack the ever loving crap out of me.

Theorem of the century: You cannot be miserable and feeling sorry for yourself and angry enough to murder your spouse at the same time. roll:
"To create more positive results in your life, replace 'if only' with 'next time'." — Author Unknown
"Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterward." — Vernon Law
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Re: Pregnant and Miserable

Postby Sigma_Orionis » Fri Sep 23, 2016 6:50 pm

roll:
Sic Transit Gloria Mundi
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Re: Pregnant and Miserable

Postby vendic » Sat Sep 24, 2016 3:55 am

This marriage failed. Right? rofl
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Re: Pregnant and Miserable

Postby Sigma_Orionis » Sat Sep 24, 2016 2:21 pm

And she became the PEW :P
Sic Transit Gloria Mundi
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Re: Pregnant and Miserable

Postby SciFiFisher » Sat Sep 24, 2016 6:55 pm

vendic wrote:This marriage failed. Right? rofl


Very Horribly! :lol:
"To create more positive results in your life, replace 'if only' with 'next time'." — Author Unknown
"Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterward." — Vernon Law
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Re: Pregnant and Miserable

Postby vendic » Sat Sep 24, 2016 7:12 pm

Huh.
Can't imagine why.
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Re: Pregnant and Miserable

Postby SciFiFisher » Sun Sep 25, 2016 4:52 am

vendic wrote:Huh.
Can't imagine why.


Have I mentioned that some women never forget? roll:
"To create more positive results in your life, replace 'if only' with 'next time'." — Author Unknown
"Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterward." — Vernon Law
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Re: Pregnant and Miserable

Postby code monkey » Sun Sep 25, 2016 5:26 am

fisher, that is a wonderful example of the concept of fighting words.
and still i persist in wondering whether folly must always be our nemesis. edgar pangborn

come gentle night. come loving black browed night
give me my romeo. and when he shall die
take him and cut him out in little stars
and he will make the face of heaven so fine
that all will be in love with night
and pay no worship to the garish sun. william shakespeare
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