Celebrity Perv Apology Generator

I wish I had thought of this.
https://apologygenerator.com/
Some examples:
As a male feminist, harassment is completely unacceptable — especially when people find out about it. I was intoxicated at the time, and of course now I realize my behavior was wrong. In conclusion, I will devote my life to finding the real Golden Globes party molester.
As a person who was born in an era before women were “people,” I feel tremendously guilty now that the things I did have been made public. It was a very long time ago, and of course now I realize my behavior was wrong. In conclusion, I will wait 2-3 years before reappearing in film and TV and just sort of hope you all forget about this.
As someone who grew up in a different era, I feel tremendously guilty now that the things I did have been made public. I imagined that any woman would have been thrilled to see a tiny penis peeking out from below my pasty, middle-aged paunch like the head of a geriatric albino turtle moments from death, and of course now I realize my behavior was wrong. In conclusion, I have chosen to live my life as a gay man so if you say anything bad about me now you’re homophobic.
https://apologygenerator.com/
Some examples:
As a male feminist, harassment is completely unacceptable — especially when people find out about it. I was intoxicated at the time, and of course now I realize my behavior was wrong. In conclusion, I will devote my life to finding the real Golden Globes party molester.
As a person who was born in an era before women were “people,” I feel tremendously guilty now that the things I did have been made public. It was a very long time ago, and of course now I realize my behavior was wrong. In conclusion, I will wait 2-3 years before reappearing in film and TV and just sort of hope you all forget about this.
As someone who grew up in a different era, I feel tremendously guilty now that the things I did have been made public. I imagined that any woman would have been thrilled to see a tiny penis peeking out from below my pasty, middle-aged paunch like the head of a geriatric albino turtle moments from death, and of course now I realize my behavior was wrong. In conclusion, I have chosen to live my life as a gay man so if you say anything bad about me now you’re homophobic.