SciFi Chick wrote:Please take this with the love and affection by which it's meant - if you call yourself a dull plodder one more time, you'll hear me screaming all the way from the East Coast. I know you personally. You are anything but a dull plodder. You are, in fact, witty. And you really are selling yourself short. ...
*hugs*
thank you, sfc, but I've known people who really were witty, creative ... and I am not in their league. oh, I know that i'm not a total dolt but ...
no, I've not given up. however, I know that while anything's possible, the odds are against me. (if you gamble, don't bet the house on 'anything could happen'. in fact, if you're going to gamble, be the house.) I do hope. I keep reaching out. but none of the singles groups I belong to, none of the gatherings I've attended and none of the men I've approached has turned up any interest whatsoever. not even 'let's be friends'. this latest was a real blow. I know - fall down twice, get up three times.
so I've signed up with dating sites for the mature person. here are some of my matches:
1. a fellow who says that he has a slender body type. he *does* have more chins than a Chinese telephone directory.
2. another who says that he's 66(maybe 20 yrs ago) and is apparently not wearing clothing in his picture. thank heavens it wasn't full length.
3. and 1 with 3 children who's never been married. sorry but i'm a little prissy about that sort of thing.
but I live in hope.
I don't think that i'm ugly (although a kindergartener in Elliot's school once told me that I was funny-looking) but I know that i'm definitely not pretty. (btw, you, pumpkin pi and rommie are very pretty. I don't know what morolan's wife looks like.) I also know that once we know a person we don't see the physical self when we look at him/her. we see the inner being and our relationship to him/her. however, at first, the physical self is all that there is. no man is going to look at me and think 'I want to date her!' everyone I've dated was a friend first. including the 2 toxic relationships before Michael. (one of my big regrets is not having sent flowers to the one before Michael - he decided that he was in love with a 17yr old and dumped me.)
I try to be a good person. (the chaplains at the cancer centers might not agree.) i'm the toast of the town pool's changing room - you always make me smile! you're so understanding! you're so kind! I more than tithe, always have something for the food pantry collection barrel ..., have fulfilled several requests for knitted prosthetic breasts ... and the hats. I wish that I believed in heaven because maybe then I could hope for my reward if I got there.
thanks for letting me cry on your shoulders. i'd better get back to work.