XOF News

[Thumper]

[vendic]

XOF Headline

Kentucky restores voting rights to ex felons.
Senate welcomes any measure to help them pass a vote.

[brite]

XOF Headline

Kentucky restores voting rights to ex felons.
Senate welcomes any measure to help them pass a vote.

We really need to figure out how to put a like feature on to this board....

[vendic]

XOF Science desk
Koko the gorilla may be headed on a path of intelligible speech.
Scientists claim that there is still hope for Donald Trump.

[grapes]

XOF 'TAINMENT


Our XOF critic-at-large, Doubie Dubois, reviews The Wiz:

This was a fabulous production! The town of P'ville KY can be proud of their extremely talented home-grown theater company. Ken Hershaw as the Cowardly Lion was a hoot! Abelia Ann Galoshes' portrayal of the winsome and plucky Dorothy was spot on! Toto too! The Funky Monkeys were a big crowd pleaser as well! The only bit of discord during the evening was the small group of protestors outside, who thought there should be a few parts for African-Americans. Casting director Kevin Slugg said they'd made an attempt but ran into time and budget restraints. In general, the crowd exiting the theater was effusive in their praise. There are two more productions, the closing Saturday night and the other a matinee Saturday afternoon. Go see!

[grapes]

XOF NEWS WITH A FUSE



DEMOCRATS SAY TRUMP CANDIDACY IS VALID, only candidate that can get Hillary elected

Encouraging interaction across party lines
https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics ... story.html
Love the pic

[grapes]

XOF FROM THE WIRE



(7 Dec 2015 2:50 GMT)
REPUBLICANS CHANGE NAME TO "VAST RIGHT WING CONSPIRACY", appeals to their core constituency

(7 Dec 2015 3:20 GMT)
GUNS DON'T KILL PEOPLE, bullets do

(7 Dec 2015 4:30 GMT)
O YEA THAT WAS AWESOME BABE! wanna go again?

(7 Dec 2015 5:59 GMT)
HILLARY CLINTON CHANGES NAME, TO "IVANA TRUMP", Republicans capitulate

[grapes]

XOF WORD MAVEN



Just where did "-ose" come from? It's a chemical classifying suffix, indicating a carbohydrate. "Glucose" came from the Greek γλυκος, "sweet wine", and the rest of the sugars just followed suit: sucrose, fructose, lactose, etc. Or, it may have come from the Latin -osus, meaning "full of" (see also -ous), like jocose, rugose, verbose. Which makes sense of recent events, that now the construct pete-rose is more aptly construed as peter-ose, full of dick, in other words. See also bellicose, otiose.

[grapes]

XOF GOTTA FLEE NOW



Hillary Clinton has just announced a plan to spend two billion dollars to cure Alzheimer's. She intends to schlong the funds from the Pentagon's $391.2 billion F-35 program, which means they'll only be able to build 2439 of the fighter jets, instead of 2443. General Bull Attenboroughd was apoplectic, "That means that four pilots won't have a mulligan to toss when they're training in these things! Where's your priorities? The US of A won't become the great world dick taster by being afraid of being afraid." The General's office later said that he didn't mean "dictator" either: "The General is not now nor ever has been a fan of Der Kleine Führer, nor Il Duce. We don't really know what he meant to say." The Hillary stood in the doors of the Senate chamber with arms akimbo, seemingly daring anyone to ride her for just eight seconds.

[grapes]

XOF Read and Blew


Colorado officials, reacting to their state's newly-claimed status as the state with the highest incidence of non-vaccinated school children, have instituted a waiting period for parents to opt out of the vaccination sequence. As one official explained, "Before, parents could just check the box that said they objected to vaccination on a religious, moral or philosophical basis, and that'd be it. Now, they have to wait 72 hours before they can sign the form, and they have to watch a video of what happens to children suffering from advanced complications due to measles. And, they have to listen to a lecture on basic epidemiology." From Hollywood, 31 actors and actresses have committed to traveling to the state to speak out against the waiting period, but only four will be able to make it before ski season. The national Libertarian Party reacted with aghast, but said their registration numbers in Colorado are sky-rocketing, although that could just be the drugs and people are mis-marking the registration forms.

Missouri State Rep Files Bill to Put Gun Sales Under Exact Same Restrictions as Abortions
http://theslot.jezebel.com/missouri-sta ... 1746030454

It's the latest paradigm. DMVs all over the country are looking into implementing a version--wait, haven't they already?

[Sigma_Orionis]

When is XOF going to stop the shameful blackout of news about the Bundy Gang?

[Swift]

When is XOF going to stop the shameful blackout of news about the Bundy Gang?

Yeah! Particularly Kelly!

[Sigma_Orionis]

[SciFiFisher]

*****BREAKING NEWS*************

Oregon Seditionists were observed holding cardboard signs along Highway 20 in Burns Oregon. The signs were titled "WILL OCCUPY FEDERAL LAND FOR FOOD"

[Sigma_Orionis]

Yeah, send socks and snacks

[Thumper]

Another sign read, "We're not terrorists, we just want to take down the United States of America."

[Swift]

Another sign read, "We're not terrorists, we just want to take down the United States of America."

"We're not terrorists, real terrorists are much better organized and prepared"

[grapes]

When is XOF going to stop the shameful blackout of news about the Bundy Gang?

They did contact our office and sent a press release package. When we poured it out on the table, it was just a belt buckle, an unused condom, and a letter form that had a box that said [insert shit here]. There was a phone number, but when we called it, it was answered by a pizza delivery place in Burns, WA. When we asked about the protest, they cursed at us and hung up. All our other sources have dried up too.

[grapes]

XOF FIRST IN SEX



Sex Ed programs in schools around the country are promoting a new concept called secondary abstinence. Teens are encouraged to hook up early with the love of their life. The sex is so often disappointing that couples will wait a few years to try it again, meanwhile studying course materials that include sensitivity training and porn videos. "Students really apply themselves, once they understand how much they have to learn. It's not like the movies, where everyone fucks perfectly, first time," said Sayelle Fallouga, counselor for Walla Walla WA city schools. "We got the idea from old movies, where the grandfather would give a pack of cigarettes to his grandson behind the barn, and the the kid would get so sick he never smoked again. Well, sorta the same idea." Teen pregnancies are down 86% in her school district, although some of that may be attributable to another innovative program where teens take young infants home for a week and are expected to provide total care for the child. Most of the infants are shipped in from Seattle, but are otherwise not unusual. Still, they're often returned after the week with a firm resolve by the teen to avoid conception at all cost.

[SciFiFisher]

Walla Walla WA.... made famous by Looney Tunes.

[Sigma_Orionis]

As well as Newport News

[Sigma_Orionis]

When is XOF going to stop the shameful blackout of news about the Bundy Gang?

They did contact our office and sent a press release package. When we poured it out on the table, it was just a belt buckle, an unused condom, and a letter form that had a box that said [insert shit here]. There was a phone number, but when we called it, it was answered by a pizza delivery place in Burns, WA. When we asked about the protest, they cursed at us and hung up. All our other sources have dried up too.

That's because you did NOT show your S&W, they tend to like pieces of flare.... I mean flair

[Thumper]

Walla Walla WA.... made famous by Looney Tunes.

Huh, I always thought it was the onions...

[SciFiFisher]

Walla Walla WA.... made famous by Looney Tunes.

Huh, I always thought it was the onions...

Those and this Little Giant Vacuum Cleaner Company. There are actually a number of references to Walla Walla Washington in Looney Tunes.

[Thumper]

Indeed.

Walla Walla is mentioned in many different Warner Bros. cartoons:
In an animated short film featuring the character Daffy Duck, the city is said to be the location for the headquarters of the fictional "Wishy Washy Washing-Machine Company".
In the 1953 animated short film A Mouse Divided, the city is said to be the location for the headquarters of the fictional "Little Giant Vacuum Cleaner Company".
In the 1955 animated short film Heir-Conditioned, the city is said to be the location of the headquarters of the fictional "Hi-Ho Silver Cleaning Company".
In the 1963 animated short film Transylvania 6-5000, Bugs Bunny utters the name as a magic word to transform a vampire into a two-headed bird.