Page 18 of 32
Re: XOF News
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Posted:
Thu Jan 07, 2016 8:29 pm
by grapes
XOF Oopsies
XOF apologizes for placing Burns, Oregon, in Washington State. We were thinking about our childhood in Walla Walla WA the entire time.
XOF regrets not realizing the importance of the occupation at Malheur Wildlife Refuge, and not following up on coverage of such an earthshaking event. BTW, what are their occupations?
XOF wonders what we were thinking with wallet chains and shutter shades. But we'll defend socks with sandals to the death.
Re: XOF News
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Posted:
Fri Jan 08, 2016 3:02 am
by grapes
XOF ENTRAINMENT TONIGHT
SAMUEL L. JACKSON SAYS TRUMP CHEATS AT GOLF, Trump gets seven-point bump in polls
PETA FIGHTS FOR COPYRIGHT FOR MACAQUE MONKEY SELFIE, judge flings poo at them
MISSOURI TO SAY LOBBYISTS HAVE TO DECLARE SEX WITH LAWMAKERS, filings up 38%
Re: XOF News
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Posted:
Sat Jan 09, 2016 11:09 am
by grapes
XOF WAXING NOSTALGIC
Madame Tussaud's famous museums have announced a traveling exhibit, that they are calling the Bernie Sanders Presidential Campaign. As usual it features historic figures in realistic poses, involved in culturally significant activities. The roadshow includes hippies, socialists, idealists, beatniks (yes!) and even a few liberal democrats. All faithfully represented and forever preserved. O this seemed like such a better idea when it wasn't down on paper
Re: XOF News
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Posted:
Sat Jan 16, 2016 11:47 pm
by grapes
XOF X-CLUSIVE
Qualifications for President:
Bernie Sanders - Life experience
Hillary Clinton - Interned under Bill Clinton
Donald Trump - Never been fired
Jeb Bush - Legacy application
Rand Paul - Name recognition
Ted Cruz - Texan
Michelle Obama - Status quo
Re: XOF News
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Posted:
Sun Jan 17, 2016 10:44 pm
by Swift
grapes wrote:XOF X-CLUSIVE
Qualifications for President:
Bernie Sanders - Life experience
Hillary Clinton - Interned under Bill Clinton
Donald Trump - Never been fired
Jeb Bush - Legacy application
Rand Paul - Name recognition
Ted Cruz - Texan
Michelle Obama - Status quo
Carly Fiorina - Shot a man, just to watch him die.
Chris Christie - Healthy as a Philly cheesesteak, friendly as a New Yorker, smells better than Jersey City.
Re: XOF News
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Posted:
Mon Jan 18, 2016 9:54 am
by grapes
Swift wrote:Carly Fiorina - Shot a man, just to watch him die.
Because this is Texas?
http://www.mystatesman.com/news/news/st ... ecognition
Re: XOF News
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Posted:
Mon Jan 18, 2016 7:38 pm
by code monkey
Swift wrote:Chris Christie - Healthy as a Philly cheesesteak, friendly as a New Yorker, smells better than Jersey City.
the first is spot-on. I cannot speak to the last as I've never been in jersey city. however, new yorkers are very friendly so I think that it would be a good idea to come up with a replacement for the 2nd.
cm, native new yorker
Re: XOF News
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Posted:
Mon Jan 18, 2016 11:21 pm
by Swift
code monkey wrote:Swift wrote:Chris Christie - Healthy as a Philly cheesesteak, friendly as a New Yorker, smells better than Jersey City.
the first is spot-on. I cannot speak to the last as I've never been in jersey city. however, new yorkers are very friendly so I think that it would be a good idea to come up with a replacement for the 2nd.
cm, native new yorker
I'm a native New Yorker too, so I'm allowed to make that joke.
![Wink ;)](./images/smilies/icon_e_wink.gif)
But yes, it's a stereotype, but yes, this is XOF.
For all I know, Jersey City is now a paradise here on Earth, but I had a summer job at a paint company there in 1978, and it didn't smell too good back then. Actually, the worst was Linden, NJ, but I didn't think anyone would know of it. Exxon has their big refinery there. And right at the toll plaza for the Turnpike at Exit 13, there used to be a meat packing plant. I recall going through there in the middle of the summer, waiting at the toll plaza to get on the Turnpike, and the combo of the refinery and the meat packer was enough to kill a zombie.
Re: XOF News
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Posted:
Tue Jan 19, 2016 9:26 am
by grapes
XOF (O SO NOW IT'S) PERSONALS
PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE, seeks new mate, must have own baggage. Contact Shrill at XOF#463215
FILM AWARDS ACADEMY, looking for clues, why is it so hard? If you can help, donate to our Young Auteurs fund today.
SWM, what the fuck happened while I was sleeping? Where am I? Wait, life's still good, join me in the journey? Contact Everyman at XOF#173952
POLICE DEPARTMENT, major metropolitan city, accepting applications from idealistic, culturally sensitive, clear thinking, fascists. Can provide own references.
Re: XOF News
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Posted:
Tue Jan 19, 2016 10:53 am
by grapes
XOF ARCHIVE
viewtopic.php?f=22&t=33#p271grapes wrote:MOVE OVER TEQUILA, CHINESE FIREWATER HEADS TO US
http://www.denverpost.com/entertainment ... r-heads-us"I thought it tasted like paint-thinner and felt like a liquid lobotomy," said Michael Pareles, manager at the U.S. Meat Export Federation in Beijing. "However, like many other things in China, I eventually grew to like it."
Baijiu Gets Closer: Things That Taste Like Purple
http://www.vogue.com/13376846/baijiu-co ... se-liquor/
Re: XOF News
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Posted:
Tue Jan 19, 2016 4:43 pm
by code monkey
Swift wrote:Chris Christie - Healthy as a Philly cheesesteak, friendly as a New Yorker, smells better than Jersey City.
code monkey wrote:the first is spot-on. I cannot speak to the last as I've never been in jersey city. however, new yorkers are very friendly so I think that it would be a good idea to come up with a replacement for the 2nd.
cm, native new yorker
Swift wrote:I'm a native New Yorker too, so I'm allowed to make that joke.
code monkey wrote:not that one and not in connection with chris christie, new jersey's version of Donald trump.
"
Swift wrote: But yes, it's a stereotype, but yes, this is XOF.
code monkey wrote:as for stereotypes, note that I am perfectly happy to let nj be described by the sulfur belt.
Re: XOF News
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Posted:
Thu Jan 21, 2016 11:12 am
by grapes
SciFiFisher wrote:Thumper wrote:SciFiFisher wrote:Walla Walla WA.... made famous by Looney Tunes.
![Razz :P](./images/smilies/icon_razz.gif)
Huh, I always thought it was the onions...
![Razz :P](./images/smilies/icon_razz.gif)
Those and this
Little Giant Vacuum Cleaner Company. There are actually a number of references to Walla Walla Washington in Looney Tunes.
I was reminded yesterday of this little ditty:
"Deck us all with Boston Charlie,
Walla Walla, Wash., an' Kalamazoo!
Nora's freezin' on the trolley,
Swaller dollar cauliflower alley-garoo!"
Re: XOF News
![Post Post](./styles/prosilver/imageset/icon_post_target.gif)
Posted:
Thu Jan 21, 2016 10:59 pm
by code monkey
grapes wrote:SciFiFisher wrote:Thumper wrote:SciFiFisher wrote:Walla Walla WA.... made famous by Looney Tunes.
![Razz :P](./images/smilies/icon_razz.gif)
Huh, I always thought it was the onions...
![Razz :P](./images/smilies/icon_razz.gif)
Those and this
Little Giant Vacuum Cleaner Company. There are actually a number of references to Walla Walla Washington in Looney Tunes.
I was reminded yesterday of this little ditty:
"Deck us all with Boston Charlie,
Walla Walla, Wash., an' Kalamazoo!
Nora's freezin' on the trolley,
Swaller dollar cauliflower alley-garoo!"
don't we know archaic barrel
lullaby lilla boy, Louisville lou?
trolley molly don't love Harold
boola boola pensacoola hullabaloo!
bark us all bow-wows of folly
polly wolly cracker 'n' too-do-loo!
donkey bonny brays a carol
antelope cantaloupe, 'lope with you!
...
walt kelly we need you!
Re: XOF News
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Posted:
Thu Jan 21, 2016 11:07 pm
by Swift
Re: XOF News
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Posted:
Fri Jan 22, 2016 6:22 pm
by grapes
XOF SUPER BOIL
Super Bowl Sunday is 7 Feb 2016 (Panthers, Broncos, BTW). The NFL is going all out with Super Bowl 50 (including ditching Roman numerals, which our correspondent told us was an attempt to avoid future embarrassment with SB LIX), since it's the "golden" super bowl, as gold is traditionally associated with the 50th anniversary. They even held it in the "Golden State" of California. San Francisco's Levi's Stadium is the most connected stadium in the NFL, with more cell towers, repeaters, and wi-fi than anywhere else, and they've added a lot more in these weeks leading up to the Super Bowl. XOF is concerned about the focusing effect of the stadium bowl, especially on birds flying over the stadium. If a golden eagle falls out of the sky and lands inert at the fifty yard line during the intense selfie frenzy at half time, don't assume it was a planned part of the festivities. You'll know why it really happened.
(Editor notes: The above article was apparently posted surreptitiously by an non-employee that we caught skulking around our computers. We sequestered them in a quiet back room and gently persuaded them to reveal their intent. Unfortunately, they succumbed to a pre-existing condition, but not before divulging that the 'dead eagle' is actually a plot by the NFL to justify restrictions on personal devices at football games, to better protect their brand. Anyone who wants to claim the body can do so at TB34 on Kertsde Street, before next Tuesday.)
Re: XOF News
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Posted:
Fri Jan 22, 2016 7:55 pm
by Swift
What is this about eagles on Superb Owl Sunday?
![Image](https://www.squidzone.ca/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/owls.jpg)
Re: XOF News
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Posted:
Sat Jan 23, 2016 11:23 am
by grapes
XOF SCOOPED
XOF has just had copy ripped from their hands, and printed in national media. A 29 year-old Renton WA man goes drunk to theater to watch 13 Hours, accidentally discharges his legal carry weapon into back of seat of another, who goes to hospital in serious condition.
http://kutv.com/news/nation-world/polic ... s-shootingTV didn't kill movies, VHS didn't kill movies, DVDs didn't kill movies, streaming vid didn't kill movies, guns don't kill movies...
Re: XOF News
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Posted:
Sun Jan 24, 2016 11:45 pm
by grapes
XOF MAIL PRIVILEGE
XOF special investigator Chloë Zowie
Re: XOF News
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Posted:
Mon Jan 25, 2016 2:57 am
by vendic
grapes wrote:XOF SCOOPED
XOF has just had copy ripped from their hands, and printed in national media. A 29 year-old Renton WA man goes drunk to theater to watch 13 Hours, accidentally discharges his legal carry weapon into back of seat of another, who goes to hospital in serious condition.
http://kutv.com/news/nation-world/polic ... s-shootingTV didn't kill movies, VHS didn't kill movies, DVDs didn't kill movies, streaming vid didn't kill movies, guns don't kill movies...
I've often asked CCP holders where their gun is pointing while at the movies. "in a safe direction at all times..."
Re: XOF News
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Posted:
Mon Jan 25, 2016 12:22 pm
by Thumper
grapes wrote:Super Bowl Sunday is 7 Feb 2016 (Panthers, Broncos, BTW).
On paper not necessarily the hardest guess, but still prophetic none the less?
Re: XOF News
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Posted:
Mon Jan 25, 2016 6:19 pm
by grapes
Thumper wrote:grapes wrote:Super Bowl Sunday is 7 Feb 2016 (Panthers, Broncos, BTW).
On paper not necessarily the hardest guess, but still prophetic none the less?
Or just wishful thinking. I've domiciled in both states for almost all my "adult" life. Still, the Panthers were an easy pick, and the Broncos just had to make sure and show up.
XOF POLL
Is the blog post below a parody?
a) you gotta be shitting me
b) duh
c) don't you recognize fine writing?
d) stunned
e) my kinda people!
f) don't click on links in XOF
http://lastbestnews.com/site/2016/01/pr ... king-coal/
Re: XOF News
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Posted:
Mon Jan 25, 2016 6:32 pm
by Thumper
C?
Re: XOF News
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Posted:
Tue Jan 26, 2016 12:27 am
by Sigma_Orionis
A
Re: XOF News
![Post Post](./styles/prosilver/imageset/icon_post_target.gif)
Posted:
Tue Jan 26, 2016 4:48 am
by vendic
a
Re: XOF News
![Post Post](./styles/prosilver/imageset/icon_post_target.gif)
Posted:
Tue Jan 26, 2016 3:57 pm
by grapes
grapes wrote:XOF MAIL PRIVILEGE
XOF special investigator Chloë Zowie
Chloë Zowie was to have reported that we've finally learned how to pronounce David Bowie's last name. It rhymes with snowy. It does not rhyme with Jim Bowie of the Alamo, nor with JD Salinger's novelette Zooey (never trust an agent). And neither with Howie Mandel/Long.