SciFiFisher wrote:Sadly, the stock price went up when they announced they were laying off people. Think about it. They are "becoming more nimble so they can be more innovative and better adapt to the cross platform environment they are competing in". And the market rewards this slash and burn response to the fact that they are losing market share by deciding that the stock is worth more not less.
Gullible Jones wrote:@Swift, I didn't say it was. I don't work for MS; it's just that the degree of corporate doubletalk here blew me away.
Sigma_Orionis wrote:Actually it would more like this:
Dear Revolting Rabble:
We fucked up, you get to pay the piper. Don't like it? suck it up. We don't care.
Screw You
The Masters of the Universe.
Swift wrote:Gullible Jones wrote:@Swift, I didn't say it was. I don't work for MS; it's just that the degree of corporate doubletalk here blew me away.
Really? That seems to be pretty standard. The only thing that would surprise me is honesty and straight talk.
To All Employees:
You've probably noticed but we are losing boat-loads of money and have been for some time. Sure, Windows and Office are still racking in the cash, but the whole smart phone thing has been a cluster fuck. All those big California pension funds are screaming bloody, fucking murder about the stock prices and we can't let them tank any more. So, we're going to have to fire about 18,000 of you. Sure, it will save us a lot of cash. But more than that, it will give the appearance that we are really doing something, and as we all know, in this business (and most others) appearance is more important than substance, particularly when we are talking about share holders.
I know it sucks, but we estimate that you all spend about 5% of your day "networking" on LinkedIn and Facebook anyway, so hopefully you'll find something soon.
Now, we are going to try to ax about 13,000 of you within the next couple of weeks. We'd like to be more exact than that, but we can't be, since we don't have enough people in all of HR to handle all the fraking paperwork we're going to have to go through (yeah, we've been cutting corners in all those support services for years; why did you think it takes 4 weeks to get a new desk lamp).
We'll probably get rid of another 5000 of you later in the year, but we're not sure yet. I mean who can predict how the Market is going to respond to anything, its all just a big crap shoot. I know you'll spend the next 6 months thinking you're going to be one of the 5000, so fuck corporate, I'm just going to play minesweeper all day long, and our productivity will go in the toilet, but hell, we're going to get our bonuses anyway this year, for cutting overhead, so we'll don't really care either.
If you have any questions, you can try to ask your supervisor, but they don't know any more than you, so you're really just wasting your time.
Sincerely,
The Pointy Haired Boss
SciFiFisher wrote:Too blunt. Doesn't give the false appearance of giving a flying fuck.
Sigma_Orionis wrote:SciFiFisher wrote:Too blunt. Doesn't give the false appearance of giving a flying fuck.
You mean that Honesty is a relative concept for these folks?
SciFiFisher wrote:Swift wrote: The only thing that would surprise me is honesty and straight talk.
Too honest. Never going to happen. But, what the hell. It would be nice if they really would.
"We haven’t tried any interventions yet," Begel says, "but one I’ve thought about can help absent-minded developers, such as those who just came back from lunch and aren’t paying much attention to their code. If we reduce the contrast on the display and make the fonts harder to read, the developer will be forced to apply more brainpower to read and understand the code and will be less likely to slip up as a result".
FZR1KG wrote:"We haven’t tried any interventions yet," Begel says, "but one I’ve thought about can help absent-minded developers, such as those who just came back from lunch and aren’t paying much attention to their code. If we reduce the contrast on the display and make the fonts harder to read, the developer will be forced to apply more brainpower to read and understand the code and will be less likely to slip up as a result".
Because less accidents happen in poor lighting conditions in all other aspects of live?
Because concentrating on reading individual letters and symbols equates somehow to concentrating more on code?
I have an idea, these researchers need practical experience in working under stress. I propose throwing them into a live volcano and seeing how they perform.
FZR1KG wrote:Because less accidents happen in poor lighting conditions in all other aspects of live?
Because concentrating on reading individual letters and symbols equates somehow to concentrating more on code?
I have an idea, these researchers need practical experience in working under stress. I propose throwing them into a live volcano and seeing how they perform.
Sigma_Orionis wrote:That's a new one, the usual excuse is "increasing value for the shareholders"
Woof wrote:Sigma_Orionis wrote:That's a new one, the usual excuse is "increasing value for the shareholders"
So that's an excuse? What do you think the real reason is?
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