XOF News

Founded by our beloved Mike Alexander, we will attempt to keep standards high in reporting the snooze as it happens...

Re: XOF News

Postby Swift » Wed Aug 20, 2014 1:58 pm

Currently important life skills

1. Typing with just your thumbs
2. List making
3. Coffee nomenclature ("Grande, Quad, Nonfat, One-Pump, No-Whip, Mocha")
4. Password creation and memorization
5. "Liking"
6. Googling
7. Pretending to multitask
8. Pretending to work
Never, ever forget: we did this. This is what we can do.

In wilderness is the preservation of the world. - Henry David Thoreau

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
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Re: XOF News

Postby grapes » Fri Aug 22, 2014 12:57 pm

Swift wrote:Currently important life skills

1. Typing with just your thumbs
2. List making
3. Coffee nomenclature ("Grande, Quad, Nonfat, One-Pump, No-Whip, Mocha")
4. Password creation and memorization
5. "Liking"
6. Googling
7. Pretending to multitask
8. Pretending to work


3a Music data management

Which is not to imply that it is a subset of Coffee Nomenclature, just that it seems to fit in there between the two.


grapes wrote:XOF *Snort*



Two, again

When you get to be 1 year old, you're just starting to talk, to walk. Then, doubling that, you're two and unless you're Einstein, you're talking up a storm and getting into everything, and letting the world know that it's yours. Double that and at four, you've discovered reading, and memories are getting permanent. At eight, the world is a magical place, full of promise and friends. Sixteen, well, maybe...you might have grown into your body, maybe your mind, and some societies consider you an adult. Boom, 32, and what's happening? You got kids, responsibilities, aging, losing what you might've had. Then comes 64, and it may be over for some of you, some of you have another half coming, at greatly reduced capacity.

Wait? I might have 32 years left? I could re-do the last 32? Or even restart the first 32? Damn. Let's see, in that first 32 I found my life partner, so I don't need to do that again. She went to back to school, to med school, and we bought a practice, built our own building. We had three kids, all going after advanced degrees. I learned enough math to fill dozens of textbooks, I can still do that, but it's not as attractive anymore. I'm an artist, but I don't get inspired as much as I could. Still write poetry, sometimes. I did the Tim McGraw rodeo, skydive, rock climb trilogy before I was 32, never mind dying (although that thought came later). Was a teacher, builder, taxi driver, programmer, hitchhiker. Got a TS SCI clearance and wandered around in the NSA. Went to school in geology, and solved an outstanding geophysics problem. What didn't I do? I tried to learn Latin, Russian, French, Spanish, Polish, but I'm still stuck on English. I could do one of those...naw, I'm going to go dancing.
Last edited by grapes on Thu Jun 18, 2015 10:06 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: XOF News

Postby grapes » Sun Sep 07, 2014 10:45 pm

XOF (latin motto: de rigueur mortis et tendon)


As you can see, we've adopted a new motto. According to our staff expert on all things Latin, it means "assholes and elbows," so let's get back to it, shall we?

OBAMA WORKS BUCKET LIST AT STONEHENGE, 1600 tourists rerouted, unable to change trip plans

NFL ADDS MMA TO COMBINE, called "essential skills"

OBAMA TO GET GOOGLE GLASSES, will fix his "optics"

SCOTLAND ABANDONS REFERENDUM, says they can't abandon the new baby

XOF ENTRANCE POLL: Who would you vote for if you knew *nothing* about them, ANDREW CUOMO or ZEPHYR TEACHOUT?
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Re: XOF News

Postby grapes » Tue Sep 09, 2014 5:38 am

XOF Truth Means Journalism


WHITE HOUSE AGAINST DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, "even if I had sons instead of daughters"

GROUP FORMERLY KNOWN AS "IS" (and ISIL, and ISIS, and AQI) CHANGES NAME TO "AMAZON", working to improve brand recognition with academics and women

VEGANS FINALLY COMPROMISE, ACCEPT BACON AS A VEGETABLE, removes biggest stumbling block to mainstream acceptance

PANERA GUN POLICY: DON'T ASK, DON'T TELL, "We won't put up a sign, but if you're packing, just don't show it, OK?"
Last edited by grapes on Thu Sep 11, 2014 10:44 am, edited 13 times in total.
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Re: XOF News

Postby FZR1KG » Tue Sep 09, 2014 1:34 pm

lol
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Re: XOF News

Postby grapes » Thu Sep 11, 2014 12:30 am

XOF The Nation


XOF is thrashing about, looking for a business model that will take us through December, and we think we've found it. We're creating our own micronation, on a quarter-acre parcel of land in Anaheim. It will be called Escoffier, and the official language will be French. I'll be prime minister, but we're still looking for a president, and a king/queen. There's a small list of other functionaries (e.g., court jester, gameskeeper, scullery servers, taster), if anyone is interested, or knows someone who might be. The first bimonthly-versary celebration is ... next week. You all are invited, of course. If the torturer position is filled by then, we'll have some first-rate entertainment.

Remember our motto: "What does the XOF say?"
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Re: XOF News

Postby FZR1KG » Thu Sep 11, 2014 5:35 am

I want court jester. Or the torturer. Both can be fun.
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Re: XOF News

Postby Sigma_Orionis » Thu Sep 11, 2014 6:15 am

I want to be either Minister of Executions, God-Emperor or éminence grise.
Sic Transit Gloria Mundi
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Re: XOF News

Postby geonuc » Thu Sep 11, 2014 12:14 pm

I'd like the valet concession please.
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Re: XOF News

Postby Sigma_Orionis » Thu Sep 11, 2014 12:22 pm

I thought you preferred beer and pizza :)
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Re: XOF News

Postby code monkey » Fri Sep 12, 2014 6:04 am

geonuc wrote:I'd like the valet concession please.


and i'd like the popcorn concession.
and still i persist in wondering whether folly must always be our nemesis. edgar pangborn

come gentle night. come loving black browed night
give me my romeo. and when he shall die
take him and cut him out in little stars
and he will make the face of heaven so fine
that all will be in love with night
and pay no worship to the garish sun. william shakespeare
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Re: XOF News

Postby geonuc » Fri Sep 12, 2014 10:26 am

Sigma_Orionis wrote:I thought you preferred beer and pizza :)


I do and I will be inside enjoying beer & pizza while my minions run cars and line my pockets.
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Re: XOF News

Postby grapes » Fri Sep 12, 2014 1:44 pm

Sigma_Orionis wrote:I thought you preferred beer and pizza :)

Kuro burgers with yarrow beer on the lanai, j'accuse
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Re: XOF News

Postby Sigma_Orionis » Fri Sep 12, 2014 2:19 pm

grapes wrote:Kuro burgers with yarrow beer on the lanai, j'accuse


Émile 'grapes' Zola hath spoken :P
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Re: XOF News

Postby Sigma_Orionis » Fri Sep 12, 2014 2:21 pm

geonuc wrote:I do and I will be inside enjoying beer & pizza while my minions run cars and line my pockets.



Alert! Alert! Alert! Nuclear Legal Geological Pinko Commie Limousine Liberal Detected!
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Re: XOF News

Postby geonuc » Fri Sep 12, 2014 9:27 pm

Sigma_Orionis wrote:
geonuc wrote:I do and I will be inside enjoying beer & pizza while my minions run cars and line my pockets.



Alert! Alert! Alert! Nuclear Legal Geological Pinko Commie Limousine Liberal Detected!


Am not!
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Re: XOF News

Postby Sigma_Orionis » Sun Sep 14, 2014 1:03 am

You're so!
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Re: XOF News

Postby grapes » Thu Sep 18, 2014 4:22 am

XOF Gang Aft Agley


TEXAS VOTES FOR SECESSION, forty-nine other states vote to accept it

8-YEAR OLD FINDS SOLUTION TO 400 YEAR OLD MATH PROBLEM, it was in Newton's sock drawer

NFL DEVELOPS FARM SYSTEM SIMILAR TO BASEBALL, inks deal with US penitentiaries

COLORADO ADS: YOUR MOM AND DAD CAN SMOKE POT, BUT IT MAKES THEM STUPID, you knew that
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Re: XOF News

Postby Popcorn » Fri Sep 19, 2014 7:14 pm

code monkey wrote:
geonuc wrote:I'd like the valet concession please.


and i'd like the popcorn concession.

I have a concession? Rufus said "concussion".
Just another voice that got loose.
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Re: XOF News

Postby grapes » Sun Sep 21, 2014 12:33 am

XOF The Modern World



SYRIA'S HARAKAT HAZM WINNING SOCIAL MEDIA WAR VS ISIS, "every time they post a video, we post five!"

STUDENT LOANS UPSIDE DOWN AND IN ARREARS, "we're in desperate need of more sex counselors"

COUNTRY MUSIC AHA MOMENT, Florida Georgia Line says every girl wants to be in a country song

STATES REVERSING POSITION ON COMMON CORE APPROVAL, "seemed like a good idea at the time, but we didn't know that it was going to make us look stupid"
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Re: XOF News

Postby grapes » Sun Sep 21, 2014 2:49 pm

XOF Incider


TOP GOP OFFICIALS URGING BIDEN TO RUN IN 2016

NRA PUZZLED BY PUBLIC REACTION TO ITS ADS

POLL: 86% OF DRIVERS ARE SPLASHING MUD ON PLATES

NEW BOOK: MEN ARE FROM RED STATES, WOMEN ARE FROM BLUE STATES
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Re: XOF News

Postby grapes » Mon Sep 22, 2014 4:18 pm

XOF NEWS Science Someday


RESEARCHERS ESTABLISH ROLE OF AMYGDALA IN ALTRUISM, over 200 US Representatives make appointments for amygdalatomies

SURPRISING RESULTS FROM TWO MARS MISSIONS, did not crash and burn, wasting hundreds of millions of dollars

SCIENTISTS FIND THEY CAN TURN OFF AGING PROCESS, first guinea pig will be Brad Pitt

DANGERS OF "GLOBAL STILLING", decrease in wind tied to increased number of windmill farms, shortened congress sessions
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Re: XOF News

Postby grapes » Wed Oct 01, 2014 5:10 pm

XOF Sports Shorts



FCC DROPS NFL BLACKOUT RULE, "they weren't using it anyway, and Congress wants to use it"

DEREK JETER NOT GREATEST EVER, did he invent relavitiy? well, did he?

NEW STUDY LINKS CROSS-COUNTRY RUNNING WITH INFERTILITY...

FTC FINES CAFFEINATED SHORTS MAKERS A MILLION BUCKS...
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Re: XOF News

Postby Swift » Wed Oct 01, 2014 8:22 pm

grapes wrote:DEREK JETER NOT GREATEST EVER, did he invent relavitiy? well, did he?

Well, he was a relatively good shortstop.

Image
Never, ever forget: we did this. This is what we can do.

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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
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Re: XOF News

Postby grapes » Wed Oct 01, 2014 10:15 pm

Ladies and Germs! Swift! who now has time on his hands, and frustrations to release, make sure you in the first row pull the plastic tarp up to your chins
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