Banana Republic Newsflash

[code monkey]

I try.

yes, everyone agrees that you're very trying.

(i know that i should be shamed of myself as that was just too easy. however ...)

[Sigma_Orionis]

Good Grief! Mr. Mono making jokes in MY thread!

[brite]

Good Grief! Mr. Mono making jokes in MY thread!

You’re just jealous she got there before you did....

[Sigma_Orionis]

Get on Thumper's case? Naaaww it's more fun to go after that Evil Gringo Imperial Imperialist of the Evil Gringo Imperial Empire (aka the psychopath army nurse) you married

[Sigma_Orionis]

Ah yes I remember this, I remember saying "oh sh!t" also.....

The Precise Instant Everything Went to Hell

Since apparently I'm doing this for CiD's edification I'll mention that the large block of text in Spanish in the middle of that blog post refers to Chavez explaining in that damned weekly TV show he had how was arguing with the President of the Central Bank (our version of the US Fed) about letting him dip into our reserves (to the tune one Billion US$, that later became six) in projects what were supposed to help develop our Agriculture.

So the author says that in that very moment, when the Government managed to curtail the independence of the Central Bank was the top of the slippery slope that brought us to our present state.

I've got no argument against this, in all reasonably managed economies, the Central Bank has a lot of autonomy, it can't do its job if its subject to the Executive Branch's whims

You see gringos, your left wing says that your government has been bought and is under the absolute control of your corporations. Your right wing says that the executive branch (aka Obama the HNIC) has the Fed by the balls. Which of the two is closer to reality is not important to me right now, (If you'll excuse me, right now I'm bitching about MY country) My point is that even the moment when Chavez got the Central Bank to do his bidding was a symptom.

Before the 2003 coup attempt, he was just your typical loud mouthed Left Wing Latin American politician that bitched about the US but worked with them (like most of our Politicians). After the coup attempt, he actively surrounded himself with the sycophants that now control the country.

He got a lot of sympathy, particularly internationally, after coup attempt because the opposition behaved like spoiled idiots and fucked up beyond his wildest dreams. So we could say that (surprise!) this mess we're in is as much the fault of the opposition as it is of Chavez and his followers.

[geonuc]

Somehow it must be Obama's fault.

[Sigma_Orionis]

It's always about you isn't it?

[SciFiFisher]

Get on Thumper's case? Naaaww it's more fun to go after that Evil Gringo Imperial Imperialist of the Evil Gringo Imperial Empire (aka the psychopath army nurse) you married

Just remember. I was an imperialist long before it wasn't cool.

[Sigma_Orionis]

[Sigma_Orionis]

According to Paul Krugman, Russia is Venezuela with Nukes

My other thought is that Venezuela-with-nukes (Russia) keeps looking more vulnerable to crisis.

[code monkey]

... Since apparently I'm doing this for CiD's edification

oh stop fishing for compliments, sigma. you know that you have many admirerers.

[Sigma_Orionis]

Many admirers? you mean a Fan Club?

[geonuc]

By 'many', she means one, possibly two. So yeah, a fan club!

[SciFiFisher]

By 'many', she means one, possibly two. So yeah, a fan club!

rumor has it there may even be three fans.

[Sigma_Orionis]

Three Fans? Good Grief! my fame has risen by 300% in the last year

[Sigma_Orionis]

Warning: VERY LONG POST

For the last two days I've been trying to write a post bitching on how Chavez and his protege Nicky Ripe managed to waste the biggest income boom in our recorded history: our second (and probably last) chance to break out of being what is known these days as a "Developing Country" (translation: THIRD WORLD BANANA REPUBLIC), and managed to make the "Democratic boys" (known is this country as the "Pacto de Punto Fijo" people) look austere and forward thinking (hint: they weren't, their incompetence was what brought Chavez to office).

Here (and to make it hurt more, data from the empire ) you can see the average yearly price of our oil since 1973 till 2013

The 1980s were terrible, starting in 1983 our economy went down the drain. However up till '86 the price of oil was relatively favorable (to us that is). In 1986 Opec discovered that reducing production to keep the price of oil high just helped Non-Opec oil producing countries to remain profitable. So, they stopped doing that stupidity and of course the price of oil dropped almost 50%. It's been said lately (making parallels with the current Russian Economic Disaster) that OPEC stopping their quota system to reduce production was the "coup de gräce" to the USSR. How much did the OPEC quota system did to keep us from collapsing as well ( as we did in 1989) is unknown to me. Don't know where to find the numbers, much less how to analyze them to reach a conclusion on that. However consider this (yes, a rehash of stuff I have said before):

Oil prices on 1989 were on the rebound. (50% over what they were in 1986) yet we found ourselves unable to pay our foreign obligations and support the country. That forced us to go to the IMF and beg for help. In order to lend us money the IMF required us to liberalize the economy, reduce subsidies, remove exchange control restrictions, raise taxes, allow the Central Bank autonomy to do its job, raise the price of gasoline (sounds familiar?). The 1989 riots supposedly were the direct consequence of the increase in the price of gasoline. The cost of that adjustment was the collapse of the "quasi-democratic" system.

I don't question the need for that adjustment. Nor do I have any sympathy for the old regime. Unfortunately, what rose to replace the old order was Chavez and his cronies. And they're much worse than what the "Democratic boys" have been,

How much worse? forget their bullshit Extreme Left Wing/Anti-West rhetoric, their courting of countries like Russia, China, Iran or Libya, their collusion with the Cuban Regime, if those things cause concern or irritate the US State department (probably not much, we're a speck of dust compared to Brazil, or Argentina, or even Chile, those are the Heavyweights of the region. Hell, our oil is so heavy you gringos use it for heating, and besides, it's just the portion you don't buy from Canada), it's really (speaking as a Venezuelan of course) not my main concern, DESPITE my sympathy for the US and my well known bias for Western Culture in general.

Just take a look at the price of oil in the 1998-2013 period.

We had the largest income boom in our history.

When our economy started to decline in 1983, it was because despite the price of oil, the quotas set in place to keep the price up didn't allow us to sell enough to sustain our economy. It was still OUR fault though, we had an economy that relied almost exclusively on the high oil prices to finance a string of incompetent left wing governments (starting mostly 1973 with this son of a bitch, what a coincidence just at the start of the first price boom ).

What makes the current disaster much worse is not only the size of boom that was (once again) wasted, or the lost opportunities. Is that since 2007 our oil production has been declining steadily because Chavez & Co refused to invest in keeping our Oil production infrastructure updated and wasted a very important share of our revenues in his "Oil Diplomacy" for his "Latin American Integration" ambitions (which once again I must say, if THAT favors anyone, it favors Brazil and possibly Argentina, just like IMHO the EU in the end just mostly favors Germany and France). The rest went to his subsidies and creating a Bureaucracy that makes your US Federal Government look like a model of efficiency.

So, now where does that leave us:

Here.

Turns out that on monday, there was a pro-government rally to celebrate the 15 years of that 300 article hack job we call The Constitution. It was hastily "refocused" as a rally to protest the unfair sanctions the evil imperialist infidel gringo empire is apparently about to dump on our hard working patriotic socialist doo-gooders.

This is how the government media showed the people who attended the rally

this is (apparently) an aerial view

I don't know how true that is, but the traffic jams were rather light that day.....

In the rally he bitched about you gringos as usual. I couldn't find an English version of the speech on a reputable source, so I'll have to settle for the spanish version from a local newspaper (including video) and an english version elsewhere The highlight of the speech was Nicky saying that "They can shove their U.S. visas where they should be shoved, insolent Yankees!"and the assistants chanting "Arriba, Abajo, Los Yankees pa'l Carajo" (Fisher, THIS time Carajo is being used in a pejorative way )

The really pathetic part was a a pledge Nicky made at the end, grappling a replica of the sword of Simon Bolivar

Here's the pledge

Juro por el espíritu inmortal de los indios,
de Guicaipuro,
por el espíritu inmortal de la resistencia indígena.
Juro por el ejemplo eterno de los líderes afrovenezolanos,
Andresote, José Leonardo Chirinos,
juro por el Negro Primero,
juro por los libertadores,
juro por Miranda, por José Félix Rivas, por Urdaneta, por Sucre,
juro por Ezequiel Zamora,
juro por los mártires, juro por Leonardo Ruiz Pineda,
juro por Roberto Valera, juro por Jorge Rodríguez,
juro por Robert Serra,
juro ante la espada inmortal de Simón Bolívar que no daremos descanso a nuestra alma,
ni reposo a nuestros brazos hasta ver surgir en Venezuela una patria llena de prosperidad,
una patria de paz, una patria socialista.
Juro por el ejemplo del comandante Hugo Chávez que trabajaré por la unión del pueblo,
que trabajaré por la unión cívico-militar
y que lograremos con el compriso más grande,
que este juramento se transforme en la gran victoria del año 2015, del año 2019;
en la gran victoria de la Patria.
Así lo juro, así lo cumpliremos.
¡Qué viva Bolívar!
¡Qué viva su espada inmortal!
¡Qué viva el pueblo de Venezuela!
¡Hasta la victoria siempre!

Here is my attempt to translate it:


I swear by the immortal spirit of the indians,
of Guicaipuro,
by immortal spirit of indigenous resistance,
I swear by the eternal example of the afrovenezuelan leaders,
Andresote, José Leonardo Chirinos,
I swear by Negro Primero,
I swear by the liberators,
I swear by Miranda, by José Félix Rivas, by Urdaneta, by Sucre,
I swear by Ezequiel Zamora,
I swear by the Martyrs, I swear by Leonardo Ruiz Pineda,
I swear by Roberto Valera, I swear by Jorge Rodríguez,
I swear by Robert Serra,
I swear before the immortal sword of Simon Bolivar that we will give our soul no rest,
nor relief to our limbs until we see in Venezuela the rise of a fatherland full of prosperity,
a fatherland of peace, a socialist fatherland.
I swear by the example of commander Hugo Chávez that I will work for the union of the people,
that I will work for the civilian-military union
and that we will accomplish with the greatest compromise,
that this pledge will become the great victory of 2015, of 2019,
the great victory of the fatherland.
So I swear, so we will deliver.
Long Live Bolivar!
Long Live his Immortal Sword!
Long Live the People of Venezuela!
To Victory! Forever!

After my attempt to translate that pile of gibberish, here's a glossary so you know who they were swearing by:
- Guaicaipuro was a Native Indian Chieftain that tried to resist the Spaniards in the 16th Century, he was killed by them
- Andresote was a black/indigenous slave that escaped and became a rebel leader against the Spaniards and the Spanish equivalent of the East India Company during the 18th Century
- José Leonardo Chirinos was another Black/indigenous leader that tried to revolt against the Spaniards in the late 18th century
- Negro Primero was the only Black Officer in Bolivar's army.
- Francisco de Miranda, José Felix Ribas, Rafael Urdaneta and Antonio José de Sucre were revolutionary leaders during the independence wars, Miranda was betrayed by Bolivar, Sucre was Bolivar's protege and became the second president of Bolivia once it became an independent country (Bolivar was the first).

- Ezequiel Zamora was a general during OUR civil war (as far as I am concerned we spent almost all of the 19th century in a century long civil war, but that's just me )
- Leonardo Ruiz Pineda was a resistance leader murdered during the time of our last right-wing military dictatorship

- I don't know who the hell are Roberto Valera or Jorge Rodriguez if he refers to Jorge Rodriguez (the former Vice President) I don't know what merits he has. As or Roberto Valera he is either a Cuban musician or a Baseball Player.

- And Robert Serra was the Chavista leader that was murdered a couple of months ago.

SO, after the extremely long rant, all I have to say is "WHAT A CLOWN"

[Sigma_Orionis]

This just in Cuba and the US just kissed each other and pledged to make peace.

Nope, won't end the Embargo (Apparently takes an act of Congress to do that and I doubt very much the 'Pubs will go down that path) and I'm sure the Cubans in Miami must be really pissed off (I really don't care much for them), what makes it funny is the last line of the Blog Post:

Alright, that’s all for now. This is a historic event, one that will have wide-ranging consequences in Miami, Havana, and Caracas. Regardless, I keep coming back to the idea that Washington’s #1 nemesis in the Hemisphere is now … Nicolás Maduro.

If this dude is right (despite his parochial Latin American view) it means that Evil Imperial Infidel Gringo Empire is going to last for a while after all. If the current situation remains the same for a couple of years the Russkies are going to be in a lot of Trouble and apparently even the Mandarin Juggernaut is sputtering. So the HNIC's foreign policy is not all that bad after all is it?

[brite]

It’s not like it was a French kiss....

[cid]

You mean someone other than Fisher reads this?

Absotively posilutely...should have its own category...


"Hoot Of The Day" or somesuch...

[code monkey]

It’s not like it was a French kiss....

we don't know that.

[Sigma_Orionis]

Hey Gringos!

You're now being lectured on Human Rights by non other than the President of our National Assembly, Pure Red Shirted Chavista and all around Nice Guy. Diosdado Cabello (For some odd reason Roger Ramjet was unavailable......)

Cower in Fear you evil Infidel gringo imperial imperialists from the evil infidel gringo imperial empire!

[brite]

Hey Gringos!

You're now being lectured on Human Rights by non other than the President of our National Assembly, Pure Red Shirted Chavista and all around Nice Guy. Diosdado Cabello (For some odd reason Roger Ramjet was unavailable......)

Cower in Fear you evil Infidel gringo imperial imperialists from the evil infidel gringo imperial empire!

Fisher will be available for comment later, after he has finished serving the evil empire....

[Sigma_Orionis]

I presume that since the anniversary for the Battle of the Bulge was a couple of days ago, Fisher's comments will be summarized in one word: NUTS!

[Sigma_Orionis]

OH my! the HNIC signed on the sanctions!

Bad HNIC!, you're supposed to be a pinko commie lover!, I'm going to tattle to Eva Golinger!

Inhuman too, now Nicky's cronies won't be able to see Mickey Mouse at DisneyWorld, no more trips to Miami to buy stuff, BAD HNIC!

[brite]

I presume that since the anniversary for the Battle of the Bulge was a couple of days ago, Fisher's comments will be summarized in one word: NUTS!

Nah.... he’s been busy trying to dodge the 4 year old so that he can pee in peace....