XOF News

[Sigma_Orionis]

Been reading up on Condé Nast Mags again huh?

[grapes]

Well, Hearst magazines, anyway. And why not? Five dollars for a year's subscription, and all the spam I can eat.

[grapes]

XOF SNEWS


FACEBOOK DRIVERS JOIN TEAMSTERS, Google leases awe-tows to Zuck

COSBY COMMENTS ON ALLEGATIONS, "everybody just wanted a piece of fat albert, see?"

"GLOBAL WARMING" NAME CHANGED TO "FUCK REPUBLICANS", makes it easier to understand underlying issues

UNDOCUMENTED IMMIGRANTS TO GET SPECIAL SS#, it will start with an I, making it complex *and* imaginary

[grapes]

XOF NOT NEWS BUT SLIGHTLY USED


BILL COSBY EXPLAINS, "two words, playboy mansion"

CHRIS CHRISTIE LAYS DOWN WITH SWINE, says hogs have it pretty good

MAN IN CARBON FIBER SUIT IS SWALLOWED BY ANACONDA, next stunt is sex with Cher

HOME INVASION INVESTIGATION CONTINUES, family says perps "looked like Obama"

DOLLAR RALLIED IN EUROPEAN AND ASIAN MARKETS, on news that USA will soon have more cameras than guns

[grapes]

XOF OUR FRENEMIES



NEW REPUBLIC EDITORS PROTEST PRINT REDUCTIONS, turned in resignations on twitter

ROLLING STONE MAGAZINE PLEADS VICTIMHOOD, "we was raped!"

CNN ICON CANDY CROWLEY RESIGNS, whoa, that little c with a squiggle after it has a name??

[grapes]

XOF HARD NEWS TO SWALLOW




Ron (Spanish, for "rum") Jeremy has extended his web-based alcohol business to cannabis. A full line of various size THC-infused KnobCicles are available. When asked why they weren't KnobSuckers, since they're not a frozen confection, company spokesperson Cheeky Bustle explained that the fucus groups preferred the other name. And that Knob spelled backwards is Bonk was bonus.

[Sigma_Orionis]

Ron (Spanish, for "rum").........

As the token Latino here I find this extremely offensive. Get yer grubby gringo hands of our Ron!.

[grapes]

I'm sorry, I got sick half way through, I couldn't finish

[Sigma_Orionis]

There's a reason why you gringos drink Bacardi.........

[grapes]

Or warzonka
http://www.wodkiregionalne.pl/wp-conten ... dencka.jpg

[grapes]

XOF LONG FORM


DEGENERES GIVES WEDGIES TO SUPREME COURT JUSTICES, "No? Then what exactly is a brief?"

NCAA REMOVES ALL PENN STATE SANCTIONS, "Everyone's moved on, haven't we?"

ROMNEY SERIOUSLY CONSIDERING LOSING PRESIDENTIAL BID AGAIN

POPE PROSTRATES HIMSELF BEFORE HIS FLOCK, charges filed

[grapes]

XOF STPD XIONS


Yes Virginia (and you too Alabama), there are stupid questions.

1. Why do elevators have a button for the floor you're already on?
2. Who decided forks should have four tines?
3. Why didn't they just make pi equal to 3?
5. If the ice at the south pole floats, why is the south pole on the bottom of the earth?
6. Why is it called taking a dump, instead of leaving a dump?
7. Is "Isn't it" good grammar?
8. Why don't we see the backs of our eyelids?

[Sigma_Orionis]

Or warzonka
http://www.wodkiregionalne.pl/wp-conten ... dencka.jpg

That thing is to be drunk hot, you DON'T want to do that with RUM

[grapes]

There's a lot of things that I don't want to do with rum, but a toddy is one of them. Now, but maybe in my dotage though. I could be ready for a lot of things.

[grapes]

XOF PROFESSIONAL


The internationally-organized (sorta) Engineers Without Borders (also known as the ISF for obvious reasons) has decided (more or less) to change their name to Engineers Without Managers, just in case any managerial types were thinking about joining.

Insiders at Apple have leaked news about the iPhone 7. It's price has been set somewhere between two and three thousand (US) dollars. "We think we can become the Starbucks of our industry," one of them said, in a voice like Chewbacca (one of the phone's options).

Harvard University has bought space on several NFL individual jerseys, to increase their brand recognition. Recognizing that football uniforms may soon look like NASCAR's, a school spokesperson said "We just think we should be first."

[Sigma_Orionis]

The internationally-organized (sorta) Engineers Without Borders (also known as the ISF for obvious reasons) has decided (more or less) to change their name to Engineers Without Managers, just in case any managerial types were thinking about joining.

Managers have their own organization, "Pendejos Sans Frontiers"

[SciFiFisher]

The internationally-organized (sorta) Engineers Without Borders (also known as the ISF for obvious reasons) has decided (more or less) to change their name to Engineers Without Managers, just in case any managerial types were thinking about joining.

Managers have their own organization, "Pendejos Sans Frontiers"

The Pendejos anti-defamation league (PAL) would like a word with you.

[Sigma_Orionis]

The Pendejos anti-defamation league (PAL) would like a word with you.

I just finished an interview with the Venezuelan Chapter...... wanna know how it went?

[SciFiFisher]

The Pendejos anti-defamation league (PAL) would like a word with you.

I just finished an interview with the Venezuelan Chapter...... wanna know how it went?

Did one of the words you used sound something like "Messing in ma cooler"?

[grapes]

XOF Breaking Bad


MAN ACCUSED OF SHOOTING AT BIN LADEN IN DELAWARE ($@&/#% spell check!)

POPE SAYS FOLLOWERS DON'T HAVE TO FUCK LIKE RABBITS, or something like that, maybe in Spanish

LBJ AIDE CRITICIZES MOVIE SELMA FOR HISTORICAL INACCURACIES, hahahah, o man

FUNNY SIGNS: off exit 215 Hwy 99 outside Turlock CA: TAO BELL

[Sigma_Orionis]

The Pendejos anti-defamation league (PAL) would like a word with you.

I just finished an interview with the Venezuelan Chapter...... wanna know how it went?

Did one of the words you used sound something like "Messing in ma cooler"?

Nope, it was several words, and it sounded more like "Vayanse a lavarse ese culo, cuerda de jalabolas" (go ahead gringos, Google that) I do recall talk about using WMD in anger and also there were some passing references to Medical Experiments

[Sigma_Orionis]

POPE SAYS FOLLOWERS DON'T HAVE TO FUCK LIKE RABBITS, or something like that, maybe in Spanish

Damned Racist Imperialist

[grapes]

POPE SAYS FOLLOWERS DON'T HAVE TO FUCK LIKE RABBITS, or something like that, maybe in Spanish

Damned Racist Imperialist

OK you got me there

The Pope ( the former Cardinal Jalabola ) is from Argentina but his parents were Italian.

[Sigma_Orionis]

OK you got me there

The Pope ( the former Cardinal Jalabola ) is from Argentina but his parents were Italian.

Dude, Half of the population of Argentina (including my old man) is of Italian Descent

BTW do you know what "Jalabola" means?

[grapes]

Crap! my spell checker replaced Jorge Bergoglio with Jalabola!

ETA: hmm, jalabola seems to be jail balls, those heavy shotput things dragged around by the Beagle Boys. Or, maybe not