BMR Lite

[vendic]

Well, I've noticed that the people who are most intolerant are the loudest when demanding tolerance.

I know!
Those damned gays.

[SciFi Chick]

Wow on the whole cheating thing. That sucks. Apparently, there's some statistic that says about 50% of people who are married cheat, so I imagine there are just as many women who are pigs as men. But I agree that the girlfriend doesn't have nearly as much responsibility in this as the husband.

[code monkey]

Men are pigs, redux. We found out a couple weeks ago that the parents of one of the Kid's best friends are getting divorced. They have 4 children, from 19-9. Not sure how much longer than 20 years they've been married. Apparently, the wife finally discovered that the husband had been running around on her. Her first priority was the health and well being of the family. So she gave him a second chance: Stop seeing the girlfriend, remain faithful to her and the family. I'm not sure if counseling was suggested or required.

Apparently, he said no thanks and ran off with the girlfriend. Now before anyone jumps on me that the girlfriend had a role in this too: Obviously. But I'm looking at this only from the husband's prospective. I put myself in his position. Even the most insidious home wrecking inclined woman gets no traction unless the guy gives it to her (Ha, funny). I don't care if you're unhappy. Hell, I don't care if you decide the girlfriend is the love of your life. You don't do that. You shouldn't have been looking for another in the first place. You took a vow. The family is quite well to do. Maybe stupid money gives you time to ponder doing really stupid things. I know I'm pretty one sided on this and there are always other sides to the story. But I didn't care much for the d|ck when I met him over Thanksgiving break.

yes, if you're having trouble in your relationship address that issue. don't try to start another relationship. I don't understand the person who goes after or accepts someone in a committed relationship. aside from the fact that that's just wrong, what will you get? someone who cheats. who wants that?

[Thumper]

I know absolutely nothing about the other person in this cheating relationship. Perhaps she was unhappily married and thus looking for the same thing as him. I don't care. I am deeply disappointed in his behavior and decision making, that shattered his family and injured my daughter's friend.

[code monkey]

I know absolutely nothing about the other person in this cheating relationship. Perhaps she was unhappily married and thus looking for the same thing as him. I don't care. I am deeply disappointed in his behavior and decision making, that shattered his family and injured my daughter's friend.

didn't mean to challenge your reaction to the situation. I believe that i'd react in the same manner if I'd known anyone who'd done that. just have never understood the thinking of the other person. also have never understood why people so often cast the woman in the role of irresistible temptress and the man in the role of the self-control-free fool. but then there are so many things that I don't understand.

[Thumper]

I didn't feel challenged. Just clarifying that I was only looking at the father and my opinions of his actions and decisions.

[gethen]

Never going to understand how some people think. We just spent a week in Florida with two other couples. Nice people, and we've travelled with them before. The one wife can be a pain at times, but is generally fine. So.....husband and I decided we wanted to go to the Kennedy Space Center one day, one other couple said they also wanted to go. The third elected to skip the trip. I had a feeling about how this would go, so I made a point of telling the wife that she shouldn't feel like she had to go, that we would be fine if she elected to stay and sit on the beach with the third couple. She insisted that she would be fine.

Of course, she was bored to tears. Her husband was fairly interested in everything, and my husband and I loved every minute of it. After lunch we wanted to visit another area of the Space Center. The other guy was game, but his wife insisted she would stay near the main entrance and just enjoy the sun and watch people til we got back. Needless to say, we cut out side trip short to hurry back so she wouldn't be sitting alone for too long. And of course, the other wife was clearly pissed, hardly spoke to any of us, and maintained that attitude for the next 24 hours. We pretty much ignored her behavior, but I was angry. I'd suspected she would probably not enjoy the trip and offered her the opportunity to reconsider and stay behind. Then we cut our visit short to make her happy, and SHE was mad. And, to top it off, she knew she couldn't bitch out loud about it because she had insisted on going, so when we went to dinner that evening, she took her anger out on the poor waitress. Nothing was right and she berated the poor girl for everything she did. Both my husband and the husband in the third couple ended up apologizing to the waitress and manager for her behavior and leaving ridiculous tips to try to make up for it.

No, we'll never travel with this couple again, as much as we've enjoyed their company in the past. Aside from the woman's childish behavior, what I don't understand is why her husband didn't just pull her aside and tell her what an ass she was making of herself. The manager in that restaurant clearly just wanted us to leave and didn't charge that couple for one of their dinners or any of their drinks. The wife seemed to think she was kicking ass and taking names. What she was really doing was making us all look like a bunch of classless hicks. The third couple made it clear to us that they were also appalled and embarrassed by her behavior. Apparently they had seen similar things in the past, but nothing so blatant. I don't know what her husband was thinking, but if my spouse had acted like that, you can bet I would have insisted he apologize to everyone involved, and I hope he would do the same for me.

[Tarragon]

I know absolutely nothing about the other person in this cheating relationship. Perhaps she was unhappily married and thus looking for the same thing as him. I don't care. I am deeply disappointed in his behavior and decision making, that shattered his family and injured my daughter's friend.

didn't mean to challenge your reaction to the situation. I believe that i'd react in the same manner if I'd known anyone who'd done that. just have never understood the thinking of the other person. also have never understood why people so often cast the woman in the role of irresistible temptress and the man in the role of the self-control-free fool. but then there are so many things that I don't understand.

Maybe people think like how Comedian Chris Rock tried to sum it up: "A man looks at his friend's girlfriend and says 'I want someone like her.' A woman looks at her friend's boyfriend and says, 'I want him." Dunno how much truth there is to that tho.

Most of my experience in this regard is from getting hit on by married woman. It comes across as temptress-like to me, but there's some selection bias going on there. Most of them aren't very good at it either, just sad and lonely, and desperately seeking attention. I guess some men bite because they figure it's a low-risk gig - believing there's no permanent relationship needed. There was one tho... truly a temptress, beautiful, but also unhappy, with a tongue as silver as my own, but not as silvered as my mirror, the one I would have had to at look myself in. But vampires can't see themselves in a mirror. She was a sport huntress and never kept what she caught.

[geonuc]

Never going to understand how some people think. We just spent a week in Florida with two other couples. Nice people, and we've travelled with them before. The one wife can be a pain at times, but is generally fine. So.....husband and I decided we wanted to go to the Kennedy Space Center one day, one other couple said they also wanted to go. The third elected to skip the trip. I had a feeling about how this would go, so I made a point of telling the wife that she shouldn't feel like she had to go, that we would be fine if she elected to stay and sit on the beach with the third couple. She insisted that she would be fine.

Of course, she was bored to tears. Her husband was fairly interested in everything, and my husband and I loved every minute of it. After lunch we wanted to visit another area of the Space Center. The other guy was game, but his wife insisted she would stay near the main entrance and just enjoy the sun and watch people til we got back. Needless to say, we cut out side trip short to hurry back so she wouldn't be sitting alone for too long. And of course, the other wife was clearly pissed, hardly spoke to any of us, and maintained that attitude for the next 24 hours. We pretty much ignored her behavior, but I was angry. I'd suspected she would probably not enjoy the trip and offered her the opportunity to reconsider and stay behind. Then we cut our visit short to make her happy, and SHE was mad. And, to top it off, she knew she couldn't bitch out loud about it because she had insisted on going, so when we went to dinner that evening, she took her anger out on the poor waitress. Nothing was right and she berated the poor girl for everything she did. Both my husband and the husband in the third couple ended up apologizing to the waitress and manager for her behavior and leaving ridiculous tips to try to make up for it.

No, we'll never travel with this couple again, as much as we've enjoyed their company in the past. Aside from the woman's childish behavior, what I don't understand is why her husband didn't just pull her aside and tell her what an ass she was making of herself. The manager in that restaurant clearly just wanted us to leave and didn't charge that couple for one of their dinners or any of their drinks. The wife seemed to think she was kicking ass and taking names. What she was really doing was making us all look like a bunch of classless hicks. The third couple made it clear to us that they were also appalled and embarrassed by her behavior. Apparently they had seen similar things in the past, but nothing so blatant. I don't know what her husband was thinking, but if my spouse had acted like that, you can bet I would have insisted he apologize to everyone involved, and I hope he would do the same for me.

That sounds dreadful.

[SciFiFisher]

I don't know what her husband was thinking, but if my spouse had acted like that, you can bet I would have insisted he apologize to everyone involved, and I hope he would do the same for me.

Mere speculation but I suspect he was secretly glad that he wasn't the target of her tirade this time. I would bet good hard monopoly money that he gets it in full measure at home. Sadly, people in these types of relationships usually have decided to stop trying to change the behavior because the other party just keeps escalating and can be extremely toxic. And often, no matter how often you try they just refuse to change the behavior.

[Swift]

Never going to understand how some people think.

I often think I'm a different species, I'm so confused by people's behavior.

My only thought is that there is actually very little thinking involved.

[Thumper]

Never going to understand how some people think.

I often think I'm a different species, I'm so confused by people's behavior.

My only thought is that there is actually very little thinking involved.

You're overthinking it.

[vendic]

That really does sound horrible gethen.
We had a customer at the restaurant like that one night. I ended up kicking them out but they got a free meal out of it.
My staff hugged and thanked me and some of the restaurant guests made a point to let me know I did the right thing. The straw that did it for me was swearing like a sailor loudly while there was a table next to them with young children. Apparently he traveled around all the restaurants doing the same thing.
He said to the waitress he wanted a particular meal on the menu because he wanted lots of meat. The meal had little meat but was very veggie heavy, it even was written that way on the menu. When she tried describing the meal, he just stuck his hand in her face. She was pissed and he ended up complaining about the lack of chicken and how the Shenandoah Valley was the chicken capitol of Virginia. Which is funny because we got chicken at about $1 a pound but the veggies were two to three times that, plus the prep was very long. Had he ordered the chicken meat meal he'd have gotten plenty of meat and it was cheaper and easier for us to make. Ignorant shit.

[vendic]

Most of my experience in this regard is from getting hit on by married woman. It comes across as temptress-like to me, but there's some selection bias going on there. Most of them aren't very good at it either, just sad and lonely, and desperately seeking attention. I guess some men bite because they figure it's a low-risk gig - believing there's no permanent relationship needed. There was one tho... truly a temptress, beautiful, but also unhappy, with a tongue as silver as my own, but not as silvered as my mirror, the one I would have had to at look myself in. But vampires can't see themselves in a mirror. She was a sport huntress and never kept what she caught.

When I was unmarried I used to get hit on by married women. Some were entertaining and others just sad. There was this one nymph, a friend of a friend, he tried to set me up with her and her girlfriend. I found out she was married and gave her a backhanded compliment. She slapped me. The following week she came clean to her husband. She'd been screwing around on him for years with men, women and in group settings. Apparently they stayed together but its been years since I've had an update so no idea if they still are.

[Rommie]

That really does sound horrible gethen.
We had a customer at the restaurant like that one night. I ended up kicking them out but they got a free meal out of it.
My staff hugged and thanked me and some of the restaurant guests made a point to let me know I did the right thing. The straw that did it for me was swearing like a sailor loudly while there was a table next to them with young children. Apparently he traveled around all the restaurants doing the same thing.
He said to the waitress he wanted a particular meal on the menu because he wanted lots of meat. The meal had little meat but was very veggie heavy, it even was written that way on the menu. When she tried describing the meal, he just stuck his hand in her face. She was pissed and he ended up complaining about the lack of chicken and how the Shenandoah Valley was the chicken capitol of Virginia. Which is funny because we got chicken at about $1 a pound but the veggies were two to three times that, plus the prep was very long. Had he ordered the chicken meat meal he'd have gotten plenty of meat and it was cheaper and easier for us to make. Ignorant shit.

Nothing to do with your customer, I'm sure he was just an asshole, but it amazes me how much the expectation can vary between people on how much a menu item in a restaurant can change. I've definitely known people who, often after agonizing for a few minutes while everyone waits, will order something but with several substitutions so it's practically a different meal. Always struck me as a little odd for some reason.

[vendic]

Oooh I can go on a wild rant about that!!! lol

[Tarragon]

When I was unmarried I used to get hit on by married women. Some were entertaining and others just sad. There was this one nymph, a friend of a friend, he tried to set me up with her and her girlfriend. I found out she was married and gave her a backhanded compliment. She slapped me. The following week she came clean to her husband. She'd been screwing around on him for years with men, women and in group settings. Apparently they stayed together but its been years since I've had an update so no idea if they still are.

It's even more confusing with those who are separated-but-not-quite-divorced. One tried to gaslight me about it. Said her husband went into hiding to avoid being summoned to court to finalize the case so that he could get her pension. Lots of red flags with that one. Another one was a client and kept trying to get me alone in room, but I declined. Realized later she was a he - explained why her BF set off my gaydar when she showed me a pic. Sometimes I wonder if I'm too gullible, which is then balanced by punctuated assininity.

[Swift]

I've definitely known people who, often after agonizing for a few minutes while everyone waits, will order something but with several substitutions so it's practically a different meal. Always struck me as a little odd for some reason.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cnlm2e3EN78

[Rommie]

When I was unmarried I used to get hit on by married women. Some were entertaining and others just sad. There was this one nymph, a friend of a friend, he tried to set me up with her and her girlfriend. I found out she was married and gave her a backhanded compliment. She slapped me. The following week she came clean to her husband. She'd been screwing around on him for years with men, women and in group settings. Apparently they stayed together but its been years since I've had an update so no idea if they still are.

It's even more confusing with those who are separated-but-not-quite-divorced. One tried to gaslight me about it. Said her husband went into hiding to avoid being summoned to court to finalize the case so that he could get her pension. Lots of red flags with that one. Another one was a client and kept trying to get me alone in room, but I declined. Realized later she was a he - explained why her BF set off my gaydar when she showed me a pic. Sometimes I wonder if I'm too gullible, which is then balanced by punctuated assininity.

True story- a few years ago, I went and checked out a Meetup group for young Hungarians in Amsterdam (young= 20s/30s). I was on Tinder at the time, and a few weeks prior had "swiped right" with a Hungarian guy who I chatted a brief bit with before dropping it- so not like he was just on there to be curious.

Yeah, this guy showed up with his fiancee. Really nice girl, all bubbly and they were clearly in love, and the guy gave no indication of recognizing me. I was a bit confused at first- really the same person?- but then still had him in the app so discretely checked, and yeah, same guy same name.

I didn't say anything because Jesus, I was a bit confused and it really didn't seem appropriate to bring it up in a group of people where you'd never met anyone else before. Maybe she knew about his Tinder profile, though I really suspect she didn't. But damn, why the hell bother getting married if you plan to fuck around? And why on Tinder, where frankly any single female woman you know may well randomly see your profile? I don't get it.

[Tarragon]

True story- a few years ago, I went and checked out a Meetup group for young Hungarians in Amsterdam (young= 20s/30s). I was on Tinder at the time, and a few weeks prior had "swiped right" with a Hungarian guy who I chatted a brief bit with before dropping it- so not like he was just on there to be curious.

Yeah, this guy showed up with his fiancee. Really nice girl, all bubbly and they were clearly in love, and the guy gave no indication of recognizing me. I was a bit confused at first- really the same person?- but then still had him in the app so discretely checked, and yeah, same guy same name.

I didn't say anything because Jesus, I was a bit confused and it really didn't seem appropriate to bring it up in a group of people where you'd never met anyone else before. Maybe she knew about his Tinder profile, though I really suspect she didn't. But damn, why the hell bother getting married if you plan to fuck around? And why on Tinder, where frankly any single female woman you know may well randomly see your profile? I don't get it.

I've noticed that when one is in the throes of new love or requited infatuation, it makes a person happier and more gregarious. Others see this and respond positively and they may become interested, or think that they are the object of affection. Hilarity can ensue. But that's not the same as talking to people on a dating app. It's sometimes hard to know people's motivations, especially with a different culture or group. If you had asked him, he might have fled or doubled down, awkward either way.

[pumpkinpi]

I played on a softball team with a guy who had a fiance in another city. He was always chatting up other girls in bars after the games. One night I saw him making out with another of our teammates, and they went home together. I didn't like the girl to begin with, and that really pissed me off. She knew he was engaged.

It's too bad, he was a nice guy and I enjoyed his company. I feel bad for his fiance. I think they did end up getting married, but this was 15 years ago so who knows where they are now.

[geonuc]

This is a 'moan', almost literally.

So, I talk the guys I occasionally play golf with to play a fancy course near Atlanta - one that mimics eighteen of Jack Nicklaus's designed courses around the world. It's a nice place and I was looking forward to playing. And I've been taking golf lessons so I expected to do well, for me anyway.

Nope. Worst golf playing experience I've had. I absolutely sucked at hitting the ball and even hurt myself a couple of times. I'm pretty sure the problem was my back, which is in really bad shape from all the heavy lifting I've been doing. If your back won't rotate like you're supposed to during a swing, the club really doesn't go anywhere near where you expect it to and neither does the ball.

Very disappointing.

[Thumper]

My experience with golf: If your back doesn't hurt before your round, it will hurt after.
I feel for you.

[Thumper]

Very minor rant, but still: Remarked to Mrs. T Sunday afternoon that I hadn't heard the sump pump cycle in a few days. With the rain and the saturated ground, it should be going off very regularly. So I checked on it, sump hole completely full of water. I reached in and jostled the float and switch and it kicked on. SOB ran for about 8 minutes straight. The tiles around the perimeter of my house were completely full. I must have pumped 100 gallons into the creek.
Eventually, the pump got ahead and was able to cycle off and wait for the hole to refill. It cycled 10 times or so then the hole filled up and the pump just sat there. Bad float switch, as I expected in the first place. No biggie. It had pumped out all the backwater before any basement flooding and I quickly swapped in the backup pump. So I started to look for replacement switch kits to repair this pump. It doesn't look like Ridgid sells sump pumps any more. I finally found some authorized parts retailers and tracked down the switch. "Discontinued" "Unavailable." Well, that's disappointing. The pump is still good, it just needs a switch. I found what I think is the right switch from some third party and ordered it blind. Comes in tomorrow.
Now the b|tch part. Stopped by Home Depot on the way home where I bought my last two pumps just to see what they had. I was surprised to see stacks of new 1/2HP Ridgid pumps. I waited quite a while for store associate. Told him I had an older version of this pump in need of a switch but was having trouble finding one. He says I should look online, they've never carried them in store. I told him I've done that. I said, "Ridgid doesn't sell or market these pumps anymore and replacement parts are very hard to come by." He just looks at me. "Here's the deal, if I would need a new pump, why would I buy one of these new Ridgids that you have here when there already is a shortage of repair parts. Do you see what I'm getting at?" Apparently not, he just stares at me. So I go on, "It looks like these Ridgids are actually Wayne Pumps." He says, "Yeah, I think so." "Do you carry replacement switches or floats for Wayne pumps?" He starts looking around at these other off brand pumps and some floats for them and says, "We have these." "Right, see I'm looking for parts that will work on the pump I have or any of these dozens of Ridgids you guys are still selling and marketing. Again, my concern is purchasing a pump from you that I know has no replacement parts." Confused silence. Finally, "Uhhh, these pumps have a warranty, have you checked into that?" "No, I'm not interested in trying to enforce a warranty. I'll have to find an authorized service center (because I know you're not one) drop it off for who knows how long. Maybe they'll decide to fix it, and at that point they'll certainly charge for labor. No I want to purchase a 10 dollar replacement switch, swap it out, and reinstall my pump tonight or tomorrow. Do you have any more suggestions?" "Uuuhhh."

"Okay, thank you for your help."

If the switch that comes in works, I'm considering ordering a couple and putting them on the shelf.

[geonuc]

If the switch that comes in works, I'm considering ordering a couple and putting them on the shelf.

Wise, you are.