XOF News

[grapes]

XOF from the listserv


Are these really the USAn presidents who were never re-elected? Is this an accurate list? There’s 24, leaving 20 who did win a re-election. The string from 8. Van Buren to 21. Arthur was only broken by Lincoln and Grant. Since Arthur, they’ve all been odd-numbered, except Ford.

2. John Adams
6. John Quincy Adams
8. Martin Van Buren
9. William Henry Harrison
10. John Tyler
11. James Polk
12. Zachary Taylor
13. Millard Fillmore
14. Franklin Pierce
15. James Buchanan
17. Andrew Johnson
19. Rutherford Hayes
20. James Garfield
21. Chester Arthur
23. Benjamin Harrison
25. William McKinley
27. William Taft
29. Warren Harding
31. Herbert Hoover
35. John Kennedy
38. Gerald Ford
39. Jimmy Carter
41. George Bush
45. George Trump

[Rommie]

IIRC, in history class we learned the reason we had such a long strong of ineffective presidents in the 1800s was because of the issue of slavery- you couldn't win the entire country with a hard stance on it either way, and if you're that wishy washy you're not going to be a strong leader who does much.

[grapes]

The only odd ones that were re-elected, after 7. Jackson, were 33. Truman, 37. Nixon, and 43. Bush

[grapes]

XOF Brand Aids




Donald Trump Accepts $457 Million From DNC To Use His Name
they will change the name of ObamaCare to TrumpLove

Arnold Schwarzenegger has decided to change his name to Schwarzamerican.

Bob Dylan will now be known as Robert Zimmerman
it’s time

Las Vegas Raiders are now the Las Vegas Craps
yes, why do you ask?

[grapes]

XOF THE SUPREMES




Now that the US Supreme Court has a partisan super-majority, XOF News editors have directed that we spend at least 2% of our time covering the [s]least[/s]most photogenic branch of the United States government. At first, by "super-majority," we thought they meant 6 Republicans, 3 Democrats, but no! they meant 7 Catholics, 2 Jews. So, we were scratching our heads over one of the court's first decisions, to allow North Carolina to extend its mail-in voting deadline. What are those guys up to? Wouldn't the received wisdom dictate that extending the deadline would play into the hands of their opponents? Why would they want a reason to delay the final count of votes in this crucial election? We're stumped. Readers? Anyone?

[grapes]

XOF Quikkies


Is There a Doctor in the House?
https://www.wsj.com/articles/is-there-a ... cle_inline
#DrJosephEpstein is trending

Today Is Electoral College Day
https://www.cnn.com/2020/12/14/politics ... index.html
Joe Biden: But I submitted for early decision

RNA Technology in Vaccines
https://news.mit.edu/2020/rna-vaccines- ... id-19-1211
Thanks COVID, the dream of designer zombies is now within reach

[grapes]

XOF Fantasy Land




These just in from NewsMax:

Biden will change the name of the Space Force personnel to GERDians

Trump has issued executive order making a neighborhood of bakeries in NYC the next national monument, Bear Claws NM

Kamala Harris is picking out drapes for the White House. And china

Erik Prince, after his recent pardon, will be in charge of the Trump Presidential Archive, Bank, and Armory

His sister will be in charge of the TP Library after she steps down as Secretary of Education

[grapes]

XOF Explains It All




Reason that Democrats did so well in Senate runoff? Georgia Republicans attended Trump's rallies, followed his lead, and moved to Florida.

Why is China backpedalling on threats to restrict internet access for municipal offenses? Punishment is too cruel and harsh, they will employ bastinado instead.

How to explain the Hollywood phenomena of Julia Roberts, or Brad Pitt, or George Clooney, or Jennifer Lawrence? Two words: Paulie Shore.

What does that even mean? You can't just say that! That's no explanation! I said, "two words," and that is all.

[Rommie]

Reason that Democrats did so well in Senate runoff? Georgia Republicans attended Trump's rallies, followed his lead, and moved to Florida.

As someone who's been to northern Florida I have to say, there's really not much difference between there and much of Georgia!

That and honestly I'm kinda tempted to write Florida off as a swing state, except for how Marco Rubio is up in two years and who doesn't hate him.

[SciFiFisher]

Reason that Democrats did so well in Senate runoff? Georgia Republicans attended Trump's rallies, followed his lead, and moved to Florida.

As someone who's been to northern Florida I have to say, there's really not much difference between there and much of Georgia!

That and honestly I'm kinda tempted to write Florida off as a swing state, except for how Marco Rubio is up in two years and who doesn't hate him.

I hear his mother still tolerates him.

[grapes]

XOF X-egesis




Yesterday, June 29, 2021, after months of dramatic and incredible testimony, the Sentate voted 71 to 21 to convict Donald Trump. Seven senators have committed suicide, and one is on life support. Although the only immediate consequence of this conviction is that Trump may not run for elected office, Stin Blankenship of the Croonville Clarion injected the discussion with startling life when he asked Rand Paul about his earlier contention that the Constitutional phrase "Judgment in Cases of Impeachment shall not extend further than to removal from Office, and disqualification to hold and enjoy any Office of honor, Trust or Profit under the United States" made the disqualification dependent on the removal, and since Trump was no longer in office, he could not be convicted, under the constitution. Mr. Blankenship asked, "Does that mean, the right to keep and bear arms only refers to a well-regulated militia?" Seventeen fist fights broke out on the Senate floor, and someone hit Senator Paul in the head with a fire extinguisher (Republicans pushed through the law that allows open carry fire extinguishers, but this one was unregistered), and he is now on life support. So, apparently, is the United States.

[grapes]

XOF Stock Photos





GameStop Fans Flex Stock Market Muscle, SEC Kicks Them In The Balls

Theranos Announced Initial Public Offering, Valued At -$20

Brussels Consortium Creates Art Investment Fund, Will Concentrate On Sidewalk Anamorphic Art

Trump Takes Credit For Market Volatility ("I Told You So."), and Then Defaults

Millennials Insist Boomer Parents Allow Them To Manage the Family Portfolio, "WTF have you been smoking?"

[grapes]

XOF I’m Peachy, You?





MCCONNELL MAKES CASE FOR TRUMP BOOK ROYALTIES TO GO TO US TREASURY, says “I did it for the People.”

DEMOCRATS IMPEACH TRUMP A THIRD TIME, “We’re taking this all the way to the Trump@ Supreme Court!”

TRUMP BRAND LOSES 87% OF VALUE, Perceived As Too Closely Tied To Tawdry White House

TRUMP RETWEETS, “This is the end of my presidency. I’m fucked.”

NOBLE COMMITTEE GIVES SECOND PEACE PRIZE TO MAHALA, “We were going to give it to Trump, but he’s no longer President.”

[Sigma_Orionis]

XOF I’m Peachy, You?





MCCONNELL MAKES CASE FOR TRUMP BOOK ROYALTIES TO GO TO US TREASURY, says “I did it for the People.”

DEMOCRATS IMPEACH TRUMP A THIRD TIME, “We’re taking this all the way to the Trump@ Supreme Court!”

TRUMP BRAND LOSES 87% OF VALUE, Perceived As Too Closely Tied To Tawdry White House

TRUMP RETWEETS, “This is the end of my presidency. I’m fucked.”

NOBLE COMMITTEE GIVES SECOND PEACE PRIZE TO MAHALA, “We were going to give it to Trump, but he’s no longer President.”

(Bolding mine) All are pretty good. The last one however, is perfect.

[grapes]

(Bolding mine) All are pretty good. The last one however, is perfect.

You're too of a kind


It's too easy to fall onto a narrowly-focused target like Trump. I can't stand it that all the XOF headlines come out with the word "trump" in them. I guess it's the conjunction of a billion dollars with the white house with the john birch society that does it. Maybe we'll be able to move on, but I doubt it. The word "trump" will always have another meaning--the man has the meaning touch, it makes everything mean.

[grapes]

XOF Future Games





MARTIAN ROBOWARRIORS DEFEAT EARTH GOONSQUAD, 67-23, in SOLAR BOWL XXIV

MATHLETE TEAM FROM HOBOKEN HIGH DEFENDS NATIONAL TITLE, but took home only one Fields Medal this time

CROWDSOURCED LASER PROJECT SUCCESSFULLY COOLS A PORTION OF SUN SURFACE, writes "Sup Earth" in comic sans

WW VII ENDS, 8-7 (6 draws), EUROVISION CONCEDES ATLANTIC ISLANDS TO AMERITRADE, CHINA ONE GAINS HANOI HILTON

PITTSBURG WINS TOWN BALL CHAMPIONSHIP, KICKED SAN DIEGO ALL THE WAY TO CHEYENNE

[grapes]

XOF XOF XOF




XOF SELLS NFTs FOR ITS ONLINE ARTICLES, price drops through the floor

KIM KARDASHIAN SPLITS, did NOT want to live in Wyoming, "Just thinking about my brand"

FORD MARKETS ELECTRIC PONY CAR, Mustang e GT is still uncomfortable

FUCK DAYLIGHT SAVING TIME, anyone who supports DST is illiterate, there, I said it

[grapes]

XOF amendments




A source very close to Donald Trump, and sounding a lot like Donald Trump, has told XOF News that they have done extensive constitutional research and have discovered the long sought Gödel Loophole, and are positioning themselves to take advantage of it. "Gödel was not a dummy, his Epstein was Einstein, he knew what he was doing, he just didn't let on much, even when they tried to trick him at his citizenship hearing. The ideal America would be a constitutional democratic republic dictatorship. Also, Donald Trump is changing his name to just Trümp, with those two periods above, like little eyes watching out for America. All the big thinkers had just one name, like Einstein, or Gödel, or Beyonce. We're going to win big. America owes me. I mean, Trümp."

[Sigma_Orionis]

At this point, I have a hard time thinking that is satire

[grapes]

XOF getting it off ... my chest




I thought we had free speech in this country, but you'd never know it from the reactions I get when I say I like pineapple on pizza

More complicated voting systems (ranked, approval, etc.) are just literacy tests in disguise

The most appropriate symbol for the new Trump party is the bully stick, so many reasons

The boomer-remover virus has shifted into anti-anti-vaxxer mode, neither a bad thing

Just wondering how the porn industry will survive this, can it take monetized selfies to the next level

[Rommie]

I thought we had free speech in this country, but you'd never know it from the reactions I get when I say I like pineapple on pizza

In my old institute we had a weekly pizza lunch for talks, which had maybe a dozen pizzas of various toppings. I remember once the poor postdoc running it sent out an email saying she wanted to change the makeup of pizza, and can she get rid of pineapple bc she didn't think it was popular, and it was by far the most responded to thing ever sent to that institute's mailing address. The Italians probably should have made such a big deal out of it though with their insults, because at the end of the day we ended up with two pineapple pizzas every week.

[Sigma_Orionis]

I thought we had free speech in this country, but you'd never know it from the reactions I get when I say I like pineapple on pizza

In my old institute we had a weekly pizza lunch for talks, which had maybe a dozen pizzas of various toppings. I remember once the poor postdoc running it sent out an email saying she wanted to change the makeup of pizza, and can she get rid of pineapple bc she didn't think it was popular, and it was by far the most responded to thing ever sent to that institute's mailing address. The Italians probably should have made such a big deal out of it though with their insults, because at the end of the day we ended up with two pineapple pizzas every week.

Pineapple on a Pizza? BLASPHEMY! BURN THE HEATHEN! BREAKOUT THE TORCHES AND PITCHFORKS.

I remember trying it out in Canada. Didn't particularly like it. Not my first choice for a pizza for sure

[Rommie]

I thought we had free speech in this country, but you'd never know it from the reactions I get when I say I like pineapple on pizza

In my old institute we had a weekly pizza lunch for talks, which had maybe a dozen pizzas of various toppings. I remember once the poor postdoc running it sent out an email saying she wanted to change the makeup of pizza, and can she get rid of pineapple bc she didn't think it was popular, and it was by far the most responded to thing ever sent to that institute's mailing address. The Italians probably should have made such a big deal out of it though with their insults, because at the end of the day we ended up with two pineapple pizzas every week.

Pineapple on a Pizza? BLASPHEMY! BURN THE HEATHEN! BREAKOUT THE TORCHES AND PITCHFORKS.

I remember trying it out in Canada. Didn't particularly like it. Not my first choice for a pizza for sure

Me neither, but meanwhile my husband's favorite default is pizza Hawaii, sure can't take him anywhere civilized.

[grapes]

I knew that was the lead when I wrote it!

Is it just me, or is Trump kinda over? He just announced he was going to meet the Liz Cheney challengers to pick one, one, ... in Bedminster. He just doesn't want to get out of bed, poor guy. Who are these challengers? Some are wannabe Idahoans. One is a state senator who claims to be an expert at cleaning up messes--he has a septic pumping service. Last month, to get ahead of the story, he admitted he had been involved in a youthful "Romeo and Juliet" relationship: he was 18, she was 14 and pregnant. They married, divorced, she killed herself when she was 20 over another guy. He seems to be the funds raising leader, but he hasn't been invited to the party, yet. I dunno, if he just had more money, he'd be ideal Trump material ...

[Rommie]

While you might be right, I think no one will dare say it out loud after underestimating him in 2016. But yeah, not the best look when they give you a Sunday afternoon slot at CPAC.

That said, I am pretty sure the powers that be would be more than happy to ditch Trump and convince the mob to support someone like deSantis instead. Which is frankly the real risk- someone smart who can keep doing all the authoritarian stuff.