Banana Republic Newsflash

[Sigma_Orionis]

Ah, now the "electronic rationing card" is going to be optional? what's the matter Nicky, bit more than you can chew?

[Sigma_Orionis]

And in other Banana Republic News.

Due to the endless conspiracy theories on why Chavez's daughter was named alternate ambassador to the UN. Now we have nice satire about Nicky telling Daddy's little helper that she has to go to NYC Featuring a Chavista blowing his top on the comments section....

[Sigma_Orionis]

Oh yeah, Caudillimo is alive and well here in Bananaland. Turns out that in the 3rd Congress of the United Socialist Party of Venezuela (that's Chavez's Political Party in case you haven't noticed) they had a "workshop" for the "Design of a System to Support the Values of the United Socialist Party of Venezuela" (I tried to translate the word salad they made in spanish to its equivalent in english, my vinyl antennae says that it translates to "Party Indoctrination") And they closed the workshop with the "Party Delegate's Prayer" which from what I heard it was more or less the Catholic "Our Father" substituting "God" for Chavez.

No, it's not a joke, it's for real

[Sigma_Orionis]

Meanwhile Nicky REALLY plays musical chairs

Live-blogging the Sacudón

After a couple of months telling us that he was going to make major changes, his idea of that was a 3 hour speech, on all national channels where the only substantive content was a cabinet shuffling. No decisions made on the Economy.

[Sigma_Orionis]

Oh Shit, if this is true, then it's official, were even more broke than back in 1989....

Dude, Your Strategic Fund Has Less than a Week’s Worth of Imports In It

[Yosh]

Damn, man.

You are a window into another world.

[Sigma_Orionis]

And not in a good way I'm afraid

In this rag (fortunately for you gringos it's only in spanish) do you know what the headline says?

"One of these days we'll have profound fiscalization and I'll take radical measures"

Apparently he was referring the merciless actions he'll take about private supermarkets and stores for their role in the "economic war the private sector wages against the people of Venezuela" (and of course they're lackeys of the evil capitalist empire). He threatens to have about 500 "inspectors" for a the consumer protection agency that will monitor these companies. Odd, considering that they are supposedly ALREADY monitored by that same agency and yet scarcity continues and inflation keeps rising (going on 60% this year apparently, the central bank hasn't published any official figures for the last two or three months.)

Go ahead gringos, tell me about Obama being a clueless wimpy authoritarian pinko commie, you'll excuse me while I laugh, for I KNOW FIRST HAND what a clueless wimpy authoritarian pinko commie looks like. You could send Rick Perry, Louie Gohmert and Michele Bachmann down here and I'll gladly explain it to them, before letting them loose in one of our slums.

[Yosh]

You could send Rick Perry, Louie Gohmert and Michele Bachmann down here and I'll gladly explain it to them, before letting them loose in one of our slums.

Now *there's* an idea.

[Sigma_Orionis]

I found this site which seems to be composed mainly of Chavez apologists. And found this pearl.

Venezuela at a Tipping Point.

What a bunch of crap.

[Sigma_Orionis]

I think that the Chavez apologists at Venezuelanalysis.com (the site I just mentioned on the previous post) are the worst kind of useful foreign idiots I've ever seen.

The dudes at Aporrea are nuts, but at least they are less adept at glossing over the incompetence of the government. Which in itself is amusing in how hard they try not to sound like the opposition because "supposedly" the opposition is the extreme hard right (and lackeys of the empire of course). The opposition is full of idiots that are (ideologically speaking) at most center-left, their main problem is that they're useless, incapable of getting anything done and I still don't trust them because they tolerate in their ranks a lot of rats of then "ancien regime". Their ideology is the least of the problem. The idiots at aporrea are more irritating because frankly I find, their rhetoric too spiced with communist mantra (literally, the kind of stuff that reminds a typical piece written in Pravda or Gramna, lots of bombastic fluffy nonsense little concrete stuff). And of course, are as unrealistic as the opposition crowd is.

On the other hand the idiots at Venezuelanalysis are exactly the kind of people that pisses me off. Fine. they dislike the US, Fine they claim (and unfortunately they're sometimes correct, but then again, so are damaged clocks) that the US' foreign policy is heavy-handed, self-serving and hypocritical. So, to counter that, these idiots support a useless government like mine just to oppose the US. Which all in all, is the very same thing THEY accuse the US of. Why exactly are they better then? at least the US has the balls to laugh at itself. And to make it even more infuriating they do it from their comfy places somewhere in Western Europe where they're quite shielded from the consequences of the idiocy they support.

So you can all bitch all you want about the US, I still say that after watching those who actively oppose it, I'll stick with them. Despite it all, they're the least bad of the lot.

[Sigma_Orionis]

This would be funny if it wasn't so depressing

Of course, there's also this

For example, the other day I went to listen to Niall Ferguson speak. The talk was about his own particular theories on historical events – about hierarchies, networks, and revolutions and what not. It was all very intellectual, having nothing to do with the pesky banality of day-to-day events.

The questions began, and at about the fourth question, the issue of Venezuela snuck up unexpectedly.

I cringed.

As I thought he would, he said Venezuela was a basket case. He talked about going to Venezuela and witnessing a shooting in a barrio – right there, in front of him. He said that the people who were with him told him the police are part of the problem. He ended his answer by saying “let’s not talk about Venezuela because we’ll all just leave here in a state of depression.”

Too late, Niall. Too late, I thought.

[Cyborg Girl]

I would not trust FOX on... anything, really, since they care more about promoting a political agenda than about turning a profit. I wish I were kidding, but they're basically a source of agit-prop, not news, and they have been known to lie blatantly and uncreatively.

On a tangentially related note, "hierarchies" is one of those bits of sociological jargon I've come to strongly dislike, because it means the opposite of what you'd expect from common parlance. Talk about "hierarchies" around Joe Blow and he'll think you mean command structures - i.e. meritocratic, necessary, and largely unrelated to a sociologist's hierarchies of privilege.

Likewise "institutions." Talk about "institutions of oppression" and Joe Blow will think you're talking about government institutions specifically, as opposed to the abstract notions that enable governments to *be* oppressive.

The result is that you get jargon - "My goal is to destroy the institutions of oppression and abolish all hierarchies!" - that sounds violent and repulsive rather than idealistic and positive. Which is horribly, depressingly ironic when you think about it, seeing the huge emphasis sociology puts on being aware of connotations and their effect on people.

[Sigma_Orionis]

I would not trust FOX on... anything, really, since they care more about promoting a political agenda than about turning a profit. I wish I were kidding, but they're basically a source of agit-prop, not news, and they have been known to lie blatantly and uncreatively.

Sure, the link is on Fox's "news site". The thing is that the source is The Associated Press.

I obviously wouldn't know about breast implants, for some odd reason I have little contact with that particular item. However, It's not really implausible, since in the last weeks, hard to find goods (that I have personally witnessed) have ranged from Engine Lubricants, automotive parts and news printing paper to simple things like ibuprofen. So it's not really hard to believe that breast implants are hard to find. Ah yes, and apparently (according to my mother who went to the market on Sunday) the government food distribution chains have already implemented the fingerprinting scheme to buy goods because the government still claims that the private sector is waging an "Economic War", not to mention the fact that supposedly the border with Colombia is being closed every night to quell reverse smuggling.

On a tangentially related note, "hierarchies" is one of those bits of sociological jargon I've come to strongly dislike, because it means the opposite of what you'd expect from common parlance. Talk about "hierarchies" around Joe Blow and he'll think you mean command structures - i.e. meritocratic, necessary, and largely unrelated to a sociologist's hierarchies of privilege.

Likewise "institutions." Talk about "institutions of oppression" and Joe Blow will think you're talking about government institutions specifically, as opposed to the abstract notions that enable governments to *be* oppressive.

The result is that you get jargon - My goal is to destroy the institutions of oppression and abolish all hierarchies!" - that sounds violent and repulsive rather than idealistic and positive. Which is horribly, depressingly ironic whe"n you think about it, seeing the huge emphasis sociology puts on being aware of connotations and their effect on people.

I am not sure where that is coming from. But I can assure you that in MY country the statement "My goal is to destroy the institutions of oppression and abolish all hierarchies!" implicitly includes "as long as the ones that favor ME stay put."

[Sigma_Orionis]

What do you know, the same breast implant story made the New York Times..

OTOH we will still be able to have foreign baseball players (usually evil imperialist capitalist gringos from the evil empire doing their spring training)

Oh, by the way: Last Saturday was a good day, for the first time in weeks there were bathroom soap bars at the market (limit: 3 per person). And no it was not a joke. The downside was that the usual dog food we buy wasn't available, the question is now: is there a dogfood scarcity problem or it was simply that they didn't get the delivery in time? stay tuned for next week's episode.

[Sigma_Orionis]

Time for the Friday Night Blues

Just Don't get Sick because not even The Cubans want to live here.

[Sigma_Orionis]

Here we go again: Venezuela's Maduro launches civilian disarmament plan

And before this turns into part of the usual gun/anti-gun debate:

a) NO, despite how much I despise this government I don't think it's an attempt to disarm us so they can instate a full blown dictatorship
b) Last year we had a similar plan. As you can see, if we're to believe the UN it didn't work pretty well:

According to United Nations figures, Venezuela has the second highest peacetime murder rate in the world after Honduras.

Most of the murders in Venezuela are committed using firearms.

UN figures suggest there were 53.7 murders per 100,000 inhabitants in 2012, compared to 90.4 in Honduras.

The figure was up from 47.8 the previous year.

c)

In June 2013, President Maduro introduced tough penalties for illegal weapons possession, with sentences of up to 20 years in jail.

But despite these new laws, the perception of insecurity among Venezuelan citizens remains high.

I wonder why on earth we would think that........


d) My complaint is about general incompetence. The same it has been for the last 40 years.

So, You'll excuse me if I sound skeptical.

[SciFiFisher]

Of course, if the tool used to kill people is a gun then the (somewhat) logical thing to do is to make it harder for people to get them. And there do seem to be countries that have made that work. I, however, will assume that as the resident expert on your own countries woes and ineptness that you would know if it will for your country Sigma.

OTOH as a representative of the evil imperialistic empire of the peoples republic of democracy (see why we just call it the United States? It's rolls off the tongue so much easier) I feel obligated to tell you how to run your own affairs and achieve political and domestic tranquility. It just so happens that we are running a blue light special sale on surplus military equipment that we are having trouble unloading. I am sure your local barrio citizens watch would like to help take it off our hands.

[Sigma_Orionis]

Of course, if the tool used to kill people is a gun then the (somewhat) logical thing to do is to make it harder for people to get them. And there do seem to be countries that have made that work. I, however, will assume that as the resident expert on your own countries woes and ineptness that you would know if it will for your country Sigma.

All I have to say to that is this: Spend ONE day in downtown Caracas. My boss has complained repeatedly that when he goes pick up his daughter, he sees street thugs (YES: STREET THUGS) charging right-of-way "tributes" to (non-government owned) Mass Transportation units, and not a single cop in sight. So, I'll go on out on a limb and say that laws are at best a catalog of good wishes down here.

OTOH as a representative of the evil imperialistic empire of the peoples republic of democracy (see why we just call it the United States? It's rolls off the tongue so much easier) I feel obligated to tell you how to run your own affairs and achieve political and domestic tranquility.

Sure, we all know you call yerselves "The United States of America" because you consider us your backyard.

Keep doing that you evil imperialist capitalist meddling gringo and I'll tattle on you to Eva Golinger

It just so happens that we are running a blue light special sale on surplus military equipment that we are having trouble unloading. I am sure your local barrio citizens watch would like to help take it off our hands.

Unless yer offering me a couple of W33 nuclear devices don't bother

[Sigma_Orionis]

Besides, Chavistas are suggesting (link in spanish, and no they haven't OFFICIALLY accused you damned imperialist swine yet) that our health related problems (which have surged due to lack of funding because of our new economic crisis) are because the evil imperial empire is deploying biological weapons in Venezuela

Oh btw, the same idiot who now claims it's possible that the evil imperial empire is using bioweapons against us, is up in arms because a couple of US TV series made some unflattering references to Nicky Ripe. (Yep, link in spanish too).

I told you these people were nuts, didn't I?

[FZR1KG]

Your country sounds about as awesome as Yugoslavia under Tito.
He'd openly declare he had an answer to the USSR and the USA's nukes and other weapons with his anti-bla bla weapons.
IOW, completely bananas.

[Sigma_Orionis]

At least Tito had the not-so-secret backing of the US, so he could bluff his way through the Cold War without fear. The Chinese already got tired of us.

[Sigma_Orionis]

Get ready to be read the riot act gringos.

Nicky just went to the UN to lecture against "capitalist solutions to global warming"

Apparently he wasn't happy with how the Washington post depicted him

[Sigma_Orionis]

And in the meantime, this has been making the rounds around here.

Along with Malaria and Dengue Fever another mosquito-transmitted tropical disease is apparently on the rise: chikungunya (I had never known that thing existed till a couple of days ago) and guess what happened?

The usual: another chavista idiot suggesting that the evil imperial empire is using it as a bio-weapon down here. (yep, link in spanish)

And you gringos complain about Faux News, bunch of ninnies.

[FZR1KG]

Hey, FOX news won a law suit that basically said that the 1st amendment allows them to deliberately lie and deceive the public with their broadcasts and they can't be held accountable.
Once that precedent was established, they advertised how they are fair and balanced in their reporting.
Since they can legally lie, claiming they are fair and balanced is of course legal, even if it is a lie.

So next time you watch FOX or any other American News service, remember, the precedent has been set that they can legally lie, deceive, misrepresent data etc because they are protected by the 1st amendment. Why am I lumping in the other news services with FOX?
Because most of those fuckers didn't want to report that court case as it's in their best interests not to.

True story. I'm not making it up, exaggerating or embellishing. Straight up facts.

There's freedom of speech taken to the absurd level.

[FZR1KG]

Hey, FOX news won a law suit that basically said that the 1st amendment allows them to deliberately lie and deceive the public with their broadcasts and they can't be held accountable.
Once that precedent was established, they advertised how they are fair and balanced in their reporting.
Since they can legally lie, claiming they are fair and balanced is of course legal, even if it is a lie.

So next time you watch FOX or any other American News service, remember, the precedent has been set that they can legally lie, deceive, misrepresent data etc because they are protected by the 1st amendment. Why am I lumping in the other news services with FOX?
Because most of those fuckers didn't want to report that court case as it's in their best interests not to.

True story. I'm not making it up, exaggerating or embellishing. Straight up facts.

There's freedom of speech taken to the absurd level.