Why do people have to be such dicks on the road?

[pumpkinpi]

I was taking the kids to day care, driving down a 35mph road in the left lane, because I had a left turn up ahead. I was pushing 40 but no more; it's a downhill and there is often a cop car at the bottom. As happens every now and then, a car zoomed past me on the right and got into the left lane in front of me. Not dangerously, but the driver was obviously impatient, and probably going over 45. The light up ahead was red. The car stopped in the left but going straight lane, and I stopped next to it in the left turn lane. I looked over. A silver haired man looked at me, smiled, and waved. Now, unless he thought he knew me, he wasn't just saying a friendly hi....more of a patronizing ha ha.

A little later I was on my bike, stopped at a 2-way. There was a car across from me waiting, because a car to the left of me was turning right. The car across from me did not have a turn signal on, so after I stopped I went ahead. The car proceeded to start to turn left in front of me, stopped, and glared. I told him "you don't have a turn signal on" but he was obviously pissed. He didn't roll down a window so we didn't exchange words, and I rode on.

I may be making this next part up, but I swear he turned around and followed me. At the next stop I turned right. I glanced back and saw a car the same shade as his. It turned too. Then as I was riding quite a way to the next stop, this car never passed me. I kept hearing "vroom-vroom, squeak," not aggressive but as if the car was trying to maintain a low speed. I couldn't have been going more than 15, so it's strange to have a car never pass. Now I'm getting anxious--what does this guy think he's going to do? Fortunately at the next red, he turned and I went straight. There was another car already stopped so his car did not get next to me. I never looked back so I have no idea if it was really him.

I feel sorry for people who act this way. I'm not a perfect driver. Sometimes I cut people off by accident--and I feel bad. If they honk I don't get mad. I deserved it!

This takes me back to two other times. One when Buster was a baby. I was driving in a Target parking lot, straight in a main aisle. A vehicle coming out of a parking lot turned left in front me me, at a distance I felt was too close because I had to brake, and so I honked. We both stopped, not even coming close to hitting. But this guy got out of his vehicle and came to mine, started to yell. I told him that left turns always have to yield but he says there are no rules in a parking lot. He was holding up cars behind him and me. Again, I don't know what he wanted to accomplish!

The other incident was actually pretty scary. This time, I was careless. On a highway, coming up to a traffic jam. I quickly got over to get in a lane that had a little more room up ahead, but didn't see a car in my blind spot. It had to slam on the breaks, but we had no accident. I got up to the traffic jam and stopped. He pulled on the other side of me and stopped, and got out of his car to come yell at me. We were on a highway for cripes sake! Stopped, but still! I said I'm sorry--I didn't try and push it back on him. But of course that didn't make him feel better. He just kept yelling. Funny thing-there was a cop in front of me. Off duty, or non/low marked--I don't know but it wasn't obvious until he got out. He came back to us to calm the guy down and get him back in the car. Situation over--almost. We're all back in the cars and the traffic starts to move. The cop moves, I move, he stops, and I slightly tap his bumper. He just ignored it, though. I think he was a sensible cop. I was young, probably 25. He could tell I was very upset, and the tap was so light that nothing was to show of it.

In both those incidents, I wish I would have just kept my window shut and ignored them. That probably would make things worse, though! These guys want a reaction, but I don't know to what end they want this kind of situation. Especially when it's a man yelling at a woman. I'm not going to get out and fight. He's not going to punch me! Anyway, I feel sorry for these people because I imagine their lives must be pretty bad at home that they have to use a situation like this to get out their anger.

[Rommie]

Ugh, sorry that happened to you.

I don't drive much these days, but it's amazing how people still have road rage even when they're just on bicycles around here. The nice thing is though when someone shouts something at me odds are I don't know what they're saying.

[Thumper]

People take the slightest bit of bad driving as a direct assault or attack on them. And they respond with anger and rage. I know, sometimes I react like that too, unfortunately. Of course I've never followed anyone around to try to confront them, I've never gotten out of the car, but I've been plenty p|ssed. I've driven so much for the last 20 years (sometimes 300 even 400 miles a day 3-4 days a week) that I've seen all manner of driving @sshattery repeated ad nauseum. My philosophy is to stay out of other people's way if at all possible. And I guess I expect that to be everyone else's. So move to the right when possible to let faster cars pass. Go the speed limit or slightly above especially when there are cars behind you that obviously want to go faster. Pay attention at intersections and GDMF roundabouts so that you're not holding anyone up, cutting them off etc. Never cut any one off. I'll miss my turn or my ramp before I cut in front of someone and make them have to brake.

So when someone does something to me, I over react and assume either, it was inadvertent and this person is way to stupid and dangerous to have a driver's license, or this person is a self centered, reckless complete F'ing @hole and deserves a healthy beatin.

Mrs. T realizes I'm totally fatigued with driving and usually drives us most of the time. I offer now and then but it usually only takes 5 minutes before someone does something that really ticks me off. Which is unfortunate. It doesn't help my blood pressure or sunny disposition.

[geonuc]

I firmly believe that people's true nature comes out on the road where they feel safe to act as dickish as they want.

[SciFiFisher]

They have done studies. Some of the most passive people in person are quite aggressive when driving. Something about being in control of a vehicle in excess of 3000 pounds that can give them a feeling of power. Of course, if someone is already aggressive it just compounds the issue.

Where I am at people often drive 10 MPH slower than the prevailing traffic in the left lane. And then look at you like you are an insane maniac when you pass them on the right. I rarely show them they are number 1 with me. And Brite refuses to let me mount an LED message board on the roof of the car.

[Swift]

I firmly believe that people's true nature comes out on the road where they feel safe to act as dickish as they want.

Luckily, now that we have the Internet and social media, people have a new outlet for being dicks.

[code monkey]

to add to what fisher said, i think that another component is the anonymity of driving.

fisher, you've reminded me of someone i knew years ago who was very quiet & polite except for when he was driving. then he was a total monster.

[Morrolan]

Yeah, it's a dick thing. On the road everybody is a Trump.

[Swift]

Yeah, it's a dick thing. On the road everybody is a Trump.

[pumpkinpi]

So I actually empathsize a bit. Yesterday a driver started to turn left in front of me while I was on my bike. He just flat out didn't see me and I had to slam my brakes to we didn't collide. He grimaced--he knew he was in the wrong. I yelled "hey, watch it!" And we both went on our way. Some tiny bit of me wanted to turn around and follow him to yell at him. Which would serve no purpose except to get my aggression out. Of course I didn't, and that's the point. Restraint. That's what's lacking.

[geonuc]

So I actually empathsize a bit. Yesterday a driver started to turn left in front of me while I was on my bike. He just flat out didn't see me and I had to slam my brakes to we didn't collide. He grimaced--he knew he was in the wrong. I yelled "hey, watch it!" And we both went on our way. Some tiny bit of me wanted to turn around and follow him to yell at him. Which would serve no purpose except to get my aggression out. Of course I didn't, and that's the point. Restraint. That's what's lacking.

Sometimes people just make mistakes, like that guy who didn't see you. These people are not dicks, they're the rest of us.

Yesterday, I was backing out of a parking space at the hardware store. I looked left, right, left again and then right again all while slowly backing. What I forgot to do was look directly behind me, until almost too late. Someone behind me was also backing and I'm pretty sure they started before I, so I was in the wrong with a near collision. Just a potential bumper kiss, but still. To recover, I saw that I had enough room to just turn the wheel hard and move forward out of the parking lot, which I felt was the best way to get out of the other person's way as quickly as possible. It occurred to me that the other person might have been calling me a dick for failing to yield and then driving off. But I'm not a dick. I just made a mistake.

I've been making a lot of those on the road lately.

[Thumper]

I hate backing out of spaces. I either pull through or back in, so I can pull forward on the way out. It seems like no matter how much you look, there's always a blind spot. And I'm not a fan of those backup cameras now available in some cars.

[SciFi Chick]

o But I'm not a dick. I just made a mistake.

I know how you feel. The other day, I was hunting for a restaurant near the hospital where I take my mom for her treatments. We were about ready to give up, but I wanted to look in one more spot. I jumped into the left lane and then I realized I had just passed a sign that said the left lane was ending, so it looked like I was trying to jump the line by getting in the left lane and passing everybody. I chose to do a u-turn and give up on finding the restaurant rather than look like an asshole. My mom didn't understand... but she still has chemo brain.

[geonuc]

o But I'm not a dick. I just made a mistake.

I know how you feel. The other day, I was hunting for a restaurant near the hospital where I take my mom for her treatments. We were about ready to give up, but I wanted to look in one more spot. I jumped into the left lane and then I realized I had just passed a sign that said the left lane was ending, so it looked like I was trying to jump the line by getting in the left lane and passing everybody. I chose to do a u-turn and give up on finding the restaurant rather than look like an asshole. My mom didn't understand... but she still has chemo brain.

I'd have done the same thing.

[SciFiFisher]

o But I'm not a dick. I just made a mistake.

I know how you feel. The other day, I was hunting for a restaurant near the hospital where I take my mom for her treatments. We were about ready to give up, but I wanted to look in one more spot. I jumped into the left lane and then I realized I had just passed a sign that said the left lane was ending, so it looked like I was trying to jump the line by getting in the left lane and passing everybody. I chose to do a u-turn and give up on finding the restaurant rather than look like an asshole. My mom didn't understand... but she still has chemo brain.

I'd have done the same thing.

Come to California. After a while you start thinking it is normal behavior and you don't feel like a dick at all.

[geonuc]

o But I'm not a dick. I just made a mistake.

I know how you feel. The other day, I was hunting for a restaurant near the hospital where I take my mom for her treatments. We were about ready to give up, but I wanted to look in one more spot. I jumped into the left lane and then I realized I had just passed a sign that said the left lane was ending, so it looked like I was trying to jump the line by getting in the left lane and passing everybody. I chose to do a u-turn and give up on finding the restaurant rather than look like an asshole. My mom didn't understand... but she still has chemo brain.

I'd have done the same thing.

Come to California. After a while you start thinking it is normal behavior and you don't feel like a dick at all.

I lived in California for a long time. I'd say they're better drivers than average. YMMV.

Florida drivers are the dickiest.

[SciFi Chick]

Florida drivers are the dickiest.

OMG - this! When we went to buy our boat, we were terrified by the driving of our sales rep. The boaters aren't any better. Just awful!!!

[SciFiFisher]

I was mostly referring to the practice of using lanes that are going away as a method for getting ahead of people. Here in California it seems to be a standard. And then people get indignant when you object to them squeezing into the lane. They pretty much barrel right on over and insist that you be the one to prevent the accident they are trying to cause. No they are not doing this absent mindedly. They are deliberately doing it to gain an advantage over the rest of the traffic on the road. IMO they are being very much a dick. And yet no one will sign my "justifiable road rage" petition.

The other thing that is common here is a practice called "lane splitting". It is semi-legal for motorcycles to drive between two lanes of traffic to get past other vehicles here. So I will be driving down the freeway at 25 MPH with the flow of traffic and a motorcycle will drive between the lanes of vehicles at 70 MPH. It is probably very "dickish" of me to admit I want to swerve into them a little.

[Thumper]

14 hours of driving to Michigan and back this weekend to fetch The Kid. In Michigan, they like to drive 80+ MPH. That's okay, I never ever saw a cop. However, they like to slam it down to 50 every few minutes or so for some important reason that eludes me. Then rocket back to 80. I could only take so much of this before I stopped for fuel and a pitstop and had Mrs. T. take over for the duration.

[SciFi Chick]

14 hours of driving to Michigan and back this weekend to fetch The Kid. In Michigan, they like to drive 80+ MPH. That's okay, I never ever saw a cop. However, they like to slam it down to 50 every few minutes or so for some important reason that eludes me. Then rocket back to 80. I could only take so much of this before I stopped for fuel and a pitstop and had Mrs. T. take over for the duration.

- I know it wasn't your intention to be funny with this. That does not change the fact that you are hilarious.

[Thumper]

[pumpkinpi]

14 hours of driving to Michigan and back this weekend to fetch The Kid. In Michigan, they like to drive 80+ MPH. That's okay, I never ever saw a cop. However, they like to slam it down to 50 every few minutes or so for some important reason that eludes me. Then rocket back to 80. I could only take so much of this before I stopped for fuel and a pitstop and had Mrs. T. take over for the duration.

- I know it wasn't your intention to be funny with this. That does not change the fact that you are hilarious.

I've never seen that happen. The driving at 80, yes (most highways are 70mph) but not the slam down to 50.

This reminds me of my experience driving in Spain. Highways were 2 lane, and the limit was probably 100kph. People would drive either 20kph slow or 20kph faster. We wanted to stay at the speed limit. But if we were coming up on a slow driver and tried to pass, odds are a fast driver would be coming up too quickly for us to make it. They need a third lane for the sane drivers!

[Swift]

14 hours of driving to Michigan and back this weekend to fetch The Kid. In Michigan, they like to drive 80+ MPH. That's okay, I never ever saw a cop. However, they like to slam it down to 50 every few minutes or so for some important reason that eludes me. Then rocket back to 80. I could only take so much of this before I stopped for fuel and a pitstop and had Mrs. T. take over for the duration.

- I know it wasn't your intention to be funny with this. That does not change the fact that you are hilarious.

I've never seen that happen. The driving at 80, yes (most highways are 70mph) but not the slam down to 50.

This reminds me of my experience driving in Spain. Highways were 2 lane, and the limit was probably 100kph. People would drive either 20kph slow or 20kph faster. We wanted to stay at the speed limit. But if we were coming up on a slow driver and tried to pass, odds are a fast driver would be coming up too quickly for us to make it. They need a third lane for the sane drivers!

I most often see the "slam down to 50" when there is a cop out there. I think it is rather funny, the limit will be 55 or 65 mph, but people will slow to 50 when they see the cop, like somehow the cop is only ticketing people based on their average speed, so if they go 15 below the limit, it will average out as legal. It is particularly funny to see people do the slam down for a cop facing the opposite way, even on a divided, limited-access road, like the cop is going to do a U-turn across the median to get them, but I see it all the time.

And I've often thought that most people interpret "speed limit" as the speed you must not travel at. If the speed limit is 60 mph, you either have to do more than that or less than that, but not 60. And I'm talking about in the US.

[Thumper]

I call it the "yo-yo." Here in Columbus I see it at rush hour all the time but the speeds are much slower. In a traffic jam you come to a complete stop, then suddenly speed up to 25-35. As soon as you catch up to the car in front of you, it's back down to 0 or near 0 and repeat. No less annoying, but a little safer at the slower speeds. I exaggerate all the time but seriously, this happened to me driving between Muskegon to Lancing (approx 115 miles of divided 4-lane limited access highway, all 70MPH speed limit) at least 35 times. We were in heavier than I expected traffic on a dry Sunday afternoon. You could not look away or even try to have a conversation. It was d@mn near full slam on the brakes at any moment. You had to have your eyes glued on the car in front of you and look through him as far as you could in hopes to see it coming. If you backed off a couple car lengths to give yourself a cushion, people would rocket by you in the right lane and cut you off. It was nuts.