XOF News

[grapes]

XOF Busyness




We here at XOF Busyness are pleased to present our Musk edition. After 2351 news items featuring the Trump organization, this is a refreshing change.

Tesla announces fully functional FSD option, merely requires a “soft”ware addition, a “driver,” that will cost $30K per year (plus taxes), 30,000,000 customers have already made initial purchase, although there is some problems with the supply chain delivery of the drivers. Musk believes he can relieve the driver supply bottleneck at the border by adopting all of them.

The Boring Company has decided to go for it all, and drill directly through the center of the earth, which will give 45 min access to an island in the South Pacific that Musk recently purchased. They are selling shares to the patents that they will develop for new materials to shield the tunnel.

In order to finance new projects (and pay for some old), Musk is offering NFTs that allow the purchaser to become Elon Musk for a day. He says it’ll be fun for everyone, and it will solve his assassination problem.

[Thumper]

I'd send that post to my Tesla owning buddy, but he probably wouldn't like it.

[grapes]

Is he FSD ready? Has he paid his $12,000? Then, go ahead and send it to him, he’ll love it

[Thumper]

Done.

[grapes]

Elon Musk just tweeted (gurk) pronouns: My pronouns are Prosecute/Fauci

Our response? IASIHTET those aren’t pronouns

[Thumper]

Is he FSD ready? Has he paid his $12,000? Then, go ahead and send it to him, he’ll love it

He liked it.

[grapes]

XOF Man in the arena



Is the logarithm of a piano really a clock?

Since the piano tuning is even tempered, 12 tones per octave, each tone is 2^(1/12) times the previous tone. That is, each key produces a tone equal to C*2^(n/12), for some constant C. If you take the logarithm of that, you get C + (n/12)*log(2). Making C equal zero, and dividing by the constant (1/12)log(2), results in just n, the sequence of natural numbers. Since each octave has the names of notes repeat, this can be thought of as the group N/12, integers module 12, which is recognized as “clock arithmetic.”

So the logarithm of a piano is a clock like the integers is a calculator.

Maury Krusmus
XOF Man In The Street

[Sigma_Orionis]

That eggnog must have been spiked with LSD

[Thumper]

Wow!

[grapes]

We just report the NEWS


XOF Algebra in the Humanities


School funding:
Budget(schools) + Proceeds(Education Lottery) = Budget(Schools)

We can’t stress this enough:
UniversityHamline + DerekHamlin = UnderLine

We wish it were this easy:
GeoPhysics + GeoPoetry = GeoSoFat

Who didn’t see this coming:
CarbonCredit + CarbonDebt = BusinessAsUsual

Where C is StochasticNoise:
StoryListening = 1/StoryTelling - C

[Thumper]

We just report the NEWS
Who didn’t see this coming:
CarbonCredit + CarbonDebt = BusinessAsUsual

I've never seen it displayed so honestly.

[grapes]

No one can argue with algebra

Where C is StochasticNoise:
StoryListening = 1/StoryTelling - C

I just realized that should be

StoryListening = 1/(StoryTelling + C)

[grapes]

XOF Movie Remover





XOF first ever double Four Thumbs Down Friday

80 for Brady

Produced by Tom Brady, based on original group named Over 80 for Brady. Their grandson thought it would make a good movie. Who is the target audience here? ETA: during our hard-hitting investigative journalism, we discovered that Estelle Getty was born over a year later than Bea Arthur

Knock at the Cabin

Directed and written by M. Night Shyamalan, who says it was his fastest write ever. That’s because it was based on original novel The Cabin at the End of the World, but he just kills off one of the gay guys (which saves the world) instead of a child (which doesn’t save the world)

[grapes]

XOF X-plication





The Republican Party has now split into two distinct entities, semi-officially known as RINOs and Dinos. The acronym RINO is well-known (Republican In Name Only) and should need no explanation. Dino is NOT Democrat In Name Only, obviously, but instead is a reference to the party's ideal governance, a sort of paleo non-government characterized by the use of sticks and furs, and grunts and loud bellows. The archtype is MTG, whose seminal performance and appearance was on display at the SOTU address last week. Of course, they also believe that dinosaurs and humans co-existed, and in fact still do.

[Sigma_Orionis]

[grapes]

XOF Comic Pages





XOF has lost it's primary source for Dilbert cartoons, but we seem to have found a secondary source. Newsmax will be syndicating the popular business place cartoon, and they say it will be available as three separate panels: White, black, and Asok. Stay tuned for more wackiness, as this develops.

[grapes]

XOF Can’t Believe Your Eyes




Elon Musk released a recording of his conversation with Jared Kushner, made while they attended the World Cup together. In it, Elon guides the discussion while Jared brags through a litany of crimes. Also, Elon disclosed that the the great majority of SkyLink satellites were not needed for the workdwide internet access, but instead, they are space garbage collectors that will scour the skies of unnecessary and dangerous space garbage. He also signed over the ownership of Twitter equal shares to anyone who has ever been an employee of Twitter, saying that had been his intent all along but had to jump through regulatory hoops first. “I have enough money,” he said, “I would like to give back to the people who have made all this possible.” He also revealed that The Boring Company had completed the first successful tests of a secret program to relieve tectonic stress along underground faults, and they were no longer in the transportation business.

[Sigma_Orionis]

[grapes]

XOF End of Times





(1 Nov 2024) Donald Trump was released from Federal prison today, just in time for the election. He is in pretty good shape physically, having given up golf and taken up power lifting while in prison. He also earned a jailhouse JD, studying with some of the wiliest minds in any joint. Melania met him at the gate, and jumped into his arms and wrapped her legs around him. His son Barron was driving the car. His Secret Service detail, which did time with him, carried his bags to the car. There were two boxes of documents, both had "Dbl top sekret" marked on them. His running mate, Notary MTG, called him on his cell, and he laughed loudly when he talked to her. Life is good.

[Thumper]

Sadly, that could be the way it goes.

[grapes]

XOF Civil War-ish


Group A
Selfishness is a virtue
Abortion is murder
Tax is unjust
The less government the better
Us before them
God is on our side

Group B
Altruism is the virtue
Fetuses are part of my body
Everyone pays their share
Government restrains the wicked
We are all one
God is on our side, if there is a god

Group C
Whatever
Can terminate up to 50th trimester
Barter and contract
Barter and contract
My mates, the cockroaches
She’s ignoring us, again

[grapes]

Who would you rather have shooting at you, pick up to two

[Thumper]

Hmmm.

[grapes]

OK, we're told it is not a civil war, it's a national divorce.

There are a few issues.

Some people might say that the grounds are irreconcilable differences, but a case can be made for a domestic violence or substance abuse

Who gets Nevada (80% federal land) and Alaska (220 million acres federal land, roughly 17 other complete states)?

Who pays child support/alimony?

What are the visitation rights? would we have a morality clause?

How much do the lawyers get?

[grapes]

XOF The Bigger Questions





Everyone is wondering who Trump’s running mate is going to be. Who is going to be his mate?

If AI is taking over Wendy’s ordering system, did they use the current system to train it? Yikes.

Can we elect bigger clowns? Is there even a limit?

And dress codes? We’re way beyond dress cryptography